The Epic Saga of Naboo: A Journey Through The Phantom Menace

Texas greed is a little unrelated. Naboo is kind of like Ukraine. You know, when I first saw this, I thought maybe this was like 1,000 years before Luke Skywalker, because I wasn’t sure exactly what the timeline was. I didn’t know this was Kenobi until later on. I probably realized it eventually.

But the first few minutes of this, like, I’m just like thinking, this must be 1,000 years before or something. Because in my mind, I wanted it to be like that because I wanted to see what the Old Republic was gonna be like. Then you see the emperor right away. Peter can help you better. Jar is Steve Urkel.

Cuz I was a bigger fish. He got away. Hang brown. But Amsterdam, I remember the trailers for this and I was so hyped up and I was so excited to see it. And it was just very intriguing.

It is everything that I saw from Darth Mall to the Jedi and even like Naboo and the Queen, even like the Queen was mysterious and like, you wanna know like what’s it all about? And she has body doubles between Bar Annie, what do you call me? You look like an angel. One of these days I’m gonna break your heart, Annie. If you ever like a girl, don’t talk about send.

Let me tell you how the force works. Dump the hut. I was 14. This is really interesting too. The pod racing was really epic. And then they had the games where you pod race and it’s kind of exciting.

And I mean, this is a big part of the movie in, and it was interesting for me. This is the part where Annie is adopted. Thithubia, will I ever see you again? No. One of these days you’re gonna come back and then you’re gonna kill a bunch of Tuscans.

But that’s alright because then you become Darth Vader and then you have like some kids and then they like, but then I guess it doesn’t really matter. They’re the Mall. Annie, me, Kenobi, got my queen curse. Sounds pretty good, but it’s like I’m always thinking about bagels. Like I had some bagels to dance.

Like that’s the thing that I think about. Say, oh, I gotta toast it up and I have a hummus. Planet full of bagels. I am that Senate. Why did you bring Jar Queen Armadillo? What do I do? My father driving up in like my costume. I want to train the boy, who old he is.

Then I will let Darth Mao kill me. Then what are you gonna do? You’re gonna have to train Darth Vader for your dad body. Exactly. Are you ? You are. But are you drunk again? Little beers I had done.

Your Master Yoda was like, no, Master Yoda said stop drinking. You have to take a problem. Yoda drunk, yowda and me, what? In the Senate? I’m the emperor. I’m Ukraine. Gotta say the whales. Yes, exactly.

Say the whales. You’re out of your mind. But why? You’ll understand later. No, they have climate change. That a cup. Oh, up there is not. I am a cone head.

Fear leads to anger leads to me gonna tongue among acting like Ryan Kenneth. Oh, I’m gonna crack naboo situation is gonna create sympathy, sympha. Sympathy? What’s that word again? Sympathy. That’s right. Sympathy. Just mind your business, Buddha.

You gotta make me master. Okay, guys, get out of here. We’ll handle Darth Mall. That’s right. And now pick battle.

So they go, they do the, oh, wait, where’s the battle? Wait, that’s not it. Why don’t, you know, like this part was in the trailer and I remember like looking at this and I was like intrigued with the fighting. Looking back, I’m like, you know, it’s kind of lame. But at the time I was kind of epic and I was like intrigued with all the fighting and everything and I thought it would be kind of cool.

And you know, it’s just, it was intriguing, even though it’s, it’s, it’s not that intriguing anymore. Look back at in a like obviously it was made for children so it’s not gonna be intriguing anymore. But it was like, it’s a little bit, you know, it’s kind of interesting, but it’s a simple situation. And this is the part where they do run into Darth Mall. And it’s interesting.

The battle is very epic. Annie gets into space up and he blows up a bunch of space UPS and he saves today kind of thing. So they go, they battle Death Mall while the other ones, the print, the Queen has to run away, retreat. Jar is in the middle of the fight and there’s any in space with R to D2. And so let’s get back to do pad means being like a golden eye James Bond sort of.

So they’re battling. You know, it’s interesting. I created one of my screen names online. It was Darth a laser and was probably inspired by this.

I don’t remember exactly when I created that name for was probably for Yahoo. Or AOL Instant Messenger, probably around this time, if not earlier. But I was probably inspired by Darth Maul. And that’s basically, I like quite guns and die. That’s pretty, yeah, epic or terrifying. It’s kind of sad and especially as they bring back Darth Mall later on and other people and you’re like, you know, it’s like, why couldn’t he survive?

And if you think about it, like maybe he could have, maybe he just decided to let go and that’s why he died because he wasn’t holding on. And he does, he just passed on. And Darth Maul was like totally full of anger and he didn’t wanna pass on. And so he didn’t pass on. He stayed inside his body and somehow he does let it hold him together until he could like find a, what do you call it, a spider or something?

Spider body or something. And kind of like Anakin Skywalker surviving hot lava. And I remember watching this multiple times in the big screen because I could not see what was happening where like Darth Mall falls down and he split like he’s cut in two by Obi Wan Kenobi. I didn’t really know that happened. I thought he was just stabbed in the gut.

But he was cut into and it’s like he was sliced. And I didn’t see any. I didn’t. I didn’t really. I didn’t realize it. I wasn’t paying attention.

And it’s like, so I ended up seeing a movie again and again just so I could see that one part again and again. This is the part where Anakin blows up. It’s almost like a dead star, but it’s not dead star, but it’s almost like, you know, it’s like, so I can echo.

It rhymes as George Lucas always says, oh, this is the part where he’s cut into. So you can literally see him in two. And then he, Qui Gon says, I promise you will train the boy. And he says, I will train the boy. And it’s kind of sad, but it’s sad.

And then here’s this guy. He’s not sad. Look at him. He’s biting his lips. And then they’re gonna have a funeral. Yoda’s like, okay, I guess you gotta do it then. I guess you do, but I don’t like it. But okay, go ahead and do it.

Then they cut off. They go to the funeral. There’s Yoda, I think. And then Yoda has a sister, something. There’s R2, and they’re talking about Darth Mall. And they’re like, oh, they’re supposed to be another one. So which one was killed? The master of the apprentice.

And then it turns to the master, the helper, and he’s right there. And then they have a Celebration. And that’s kind of cool. And it’s kind of, it’s another echo of a New Hope. And it’s all good. There’s another weird Yoda animal alien.

And they have a weird globe thing that glows, and he holds it up and everybody singing da, da, da. Duh udah tuh. And it’s pretty good. I mean, it’s not really good, but it’s pretty good. It’s kind of good. I mean, it’s a bad execution.

It’s like there’s a story there and you know, a lot of people are like it, happy, good. And I agree. Is that really good? I fast forward through this, you know, watching it right now, I’m like, I, you know. Yeah.