so I haven’t really wanted to um
be on TikTok at all for the last few days
because I have felt quite low and mentally in quite difficult place
and I just didn’t want witnesses to that
I guess which is funny
cause I see all of these people with such a nice community on TikTok
when i’ve talk about my mental health here
I’ve had such nice replies
but my depression brain was telling me that um
that wouldn’t happen and I should keep it to myself
and so that’s what I’ve been doing
I have been in London cat sitting since some Monday
um mostly staying inside
mostly I have been working as um
a means of distraction also because it’s my job and I
I have to do it but I’ve been really throwing myself into that
I have I’ve done a few things that push me out my comfort zone
but for the most part I have just turned inwards
and I think that impulse is very familiar to me
in bouts of depression and low mood
and I do know better
and slowly but surely I’m kind of turning that around and talking about it
I um
wrote a piece on my substack today
which was about the medication that I’m trying to start taking for my um
depression and anxiety and kind of my year of hell of um
being on different medications
so I’m talking about it and I am trying to share and trying to open up a bit
even just for myself I think it’s the kind of thing if
even if no one sees it the fact of saying out
the fact of writing it down in a kind of non judgemental and factual
and kind to yourself way
is therapeutic and so this
more than anything is a little therapeutic exercise
also just say hello to the probably four or five people on here that I um
have interacted with uh
more than once who’ve been lovely and um yeah
just so I’m still plugging away
I’m just not sure how I want to
can I talk about my mental health
my move my life at the moment
because things have been quite difficult
quite flat and yeah