Okay, I’m officially back in Miami. We are gonna do a little bit of light makeup and then we’re also gonna talk about how to recover from getting out of a long term relationship and having that end. For those of you that don’t know, I had a two year long relationship end around five to six months ago. And you know, I’ve been trying and failing with certain healing techniques and certain things. So I wanna be like vulnerable with you guys and talk about what’s working for me and like what’s not.
No. 1 is don’t try to delay your grief of the relationship. The more you try to act like your brave, strong, healed and just like shove down your feelings, the more they will boil their way to the top and come out eventually in the wrong way. I think it’s so important to face your feelings head on and just try not to bury them, even though it can be really scary to admit to yourself exactly how you feel.
No. 2 is really difficult, but it’s cut contact with them, even if you ended on really good supportive, you know, uplifting terms with each other, keeping contact with them is gonna make it really hard for you to move on. Being in contact opens room for confusion and pain and sadness. And I also just think how are they supposed to feel, you know, the weight of your absence if you’re still speaking to them on a daily basis.
No. 3 is allow yourself to cry it out. You guys have no many, no idea how many times I’ve just allowed myself to sit in my apartment and just cry it out and watch a ROM com and like hang out with myself and just listen to sad music and just let myself grieve the relationship. And I always get comments that are like, stop centering your life around men. Your world doesn’t stop spinning for a man. But like, I think that it’s okay to grieve the future that you had planned with someone that was important to you. I don’t think it makes you a week or means you’re centering your life around a man to be sad about something coming to an end in your life. Sell those people in the. Shutter up. Shut up.
No. 4 is stop lurking on their socials. Even if you have to unfollow them to make yourself stop, that’s okay. I know personally, like in past relationships, I’ve struggled with lurking on them online afterwards, like wanting to see if they met someone or like, you know, if they’re liking other girl’s pictures. And it’s just so bad for your mental health to lurking on someone’s socials also makes you a monitoring spirit. And I just don’t think you should do that to yourself, like energetically, and just do that to your heart.
No. 5 is one that’s really difficult that I’ve been struggling with, which is getting rid of their things. So let’s say you have some of his t shirts or sweaters or just things that he’s, you know, given you that maybe it’s not good to keep in the house, like getting rid of those things. Obviously, some things you wanna keep just for memories or for, you know, maybe you’re not ready to give them up, but getting rid of his like t shirts and just any of his stuff that’s been in the house I think is really important because it’s just like a constant reminder sitting around reminding you of that failed relationship.
No. 6 is put your trust into something that is larger than both of you. I’ve worked to put my trust into the universe and just a sense of higher power, because then it’s like what’s meant to be will be. If it’s meant to be, it’ll come back. And if it’s not meant to be, I choose to believe that door is closing for a better door to open. You just really have to trust that there’s a plan for you and not ask yourself, why is this happening to me, but what am I supposed to learn from this happening?
No. 7 is to appreciate small wins and interactions. For example, if you’re out and you’re talking to someone and you feel that it’s a flirty conversation or that you’re getting along really well, or if you meet someone and you’re like, wow, like I really liked that. That’s a win. A win is a win. I think you should take that as a sign that you’re on the right path because how could you potentially go on a date with someone else and really click with them and have a really good time or be out and have a really good flirty conversation with someone else. If you’re supposed to be with this other person that you just broke up with. Like, personally, I always say that’s the first sign of hope is meeting someone else that like you’re like, oh wow, I actually really am enjoying my time with this person and I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to enjoy my time with this person if I was still in my ex.
No. 8 is to lean on your friends and family. I think the people that know you best when you’re going through a heartbreak are just really important. That’s what friends and family are for, to be there with you during a time or maybe you’re not feeling like your best self or you’re feeling like a little low or just not great.
No. 9 is don’t go out of your way to hurt your own feelings by looking at old texts, old pictures, old like memories with this person, looking at, you know, the past with your person, that X person while you’re trying to step into the future. It can feel so paralyzing and devastating, especially if you’re looking at like times where you were super happy and thought that was gonna be your forever person. I’m just telling you, don’t, it’s, it’s just, it’s not even worth it. Don’t do it. No.10 is choose to understand that time is on your side. Okay, and I know it may not seem like it cuz I’ve been heartbroken before where it feels like no amount of time can mend this wound, but I promise you it does. Time always heals all wounds, even the ones that you may think are never gonna get better. I love you guys. This is just my very chill, casual, low effort makeup.