I’m really glad that you’ve had this experience
it’s so powerful to be able to identify why something
that we think is part of who we are
is the way that it is and then we can release it and change that thing
um so when it comes to personal styling
and if you feel like you hate shopping
I mean shopping can be a fucking horrible experience
don’t get me wrong and I’m very anti um
capitalist and anti consumerist
but I do buy a lot of things
but all the things that I buy a second hand or vintage or antique
and that for me has been the big shift
but the biggest shift was recognising that everything that’s in the shops
without many exceptions
there are a few are things that I’m probably unlikely to want
because my style and the things that really excite me um
other things that I wanna wear
that they are not going to conform
generally to what dominant culture says I should be wearing
um and so instead I focus on texture and color and shape
and then I look for texture
color and shape that excites me everywhere
um so for this
for example that I’m wearing um
I absolutely this is Kai um
I absolutely love the colour
the colour and the and the sparkle and the little shoulder pads
I don’t know if you can see this detail
the arms are amazing so even though this is just a Saturday at home
all I’m doing is writing um
and and reading and sitting with my cats
but I will wear this because it makes me feel good
because I love the colour and the shape um
and the texture and so my advice is
think of shopping like a trip
like forget shopping
get rid of shopping instead
just think when you’re looking for things to wear
or contribute to your personal style or your wardrobe
look for things that excite you
this is good advice for the whole of your life
if you follow what excites you
pathways will open follow what excites you
pathways will open um
so just stop asking yourself
what’s my preference I mean honestly
this is my like
rules for life what’s my preference
what do I not like what do I not prefer about what I’m having
what’s my preference compared to the experience I’m having and what excites me
and so for me colour texture
shape these are the things that I look for
and then I just buy everything second hand
and so it’s always it’s always just a treasure hunt for me
and then when I find a treasure
it’s like the best for you