Reflections on Childhood, Addiction, and Compassion: A Personal Journey

Alright, anyways, I love you guys. If you open a trigger warning at the beginning of this, the video going around on IG right now, let me find it. But you think base your beach if your role is beautiful. I pick up heard you come in. Anyways, I literally like thought about this video every day since I’ve seen it and it I commented on it. It was so easy for me to find because my comment has like 10,000 likes right now.

Really had me thinking all the times that I spent in cheap motels as a kid. I feel like that’s why I feel so blessed have the life that I have right now because as a child, I didn’t. What the could it not mean to come on here and get upset, but like, what the ? Oh, my God. Being a child whose parent, it’s like I stop and then it comes back. I really do make a lot of jokes all the time. You know, what the , I left too long. I’m trying to get my together. Then I wanted to talk about it. Everyone struggle on everyone’s childhood is so different and crazy and being a child with a parent who’s an addict is like crazy. It’s crazy because you know, not every addict is the same way either.

Knowing, you know, that my dad was struggling with whatever he was struggling with growing up and that he still somehow, like there were times when he didn’t have a house, you guys. He didn’t have a house. He didn’t have an apartment. He was sleeping in his car or wherever in a park. He would pick us up almost every weekend, take us to some cheap motel like that. And I had some, like, I had some bad memories, but I had some good memories too, you know, like all the games that I know how to play, all the card games and stuff, like my dad would teach me in those little hotels if there was a nice pool, not a nice pool, there was a pool in one of those motels. It was like the best thing in the whole entire world for me.

I was just talking to one of my best friends about like addiction in general because we come from like the same walks of life. He said some addicts out there have like the biggest hearts in the world, but like their addicts and they’re addicted to whatever it is that they’re addicted to, they decide to numb whatever pain that they have with drugs and alcohol and whatever to make them not feel those buildings. So many people out there that are like, oh, just stop. Just stop doing it. You think that they won’t like, this is just my opinion. Okay. You think that addicts want to sit there and like continue down this path that’s ruining every relationship they’ve ever had, that’s ruining their job, that’s ruining their success. Yes. Like, I don’t think that that’s the goal is to numb their pain or whatever it is that they’re going through. People are like, oh, just stop. It’s so easy. Like the people who say that have never dealt with addiction. It sounds like it would be that simple. Right? And I keep getting notifications about my comment on that video. So it keeps coming up. So it just like keeps reminding me. And so I keep thinking about it. These humans are still humans and they just struggle differently than then I do. Yeah, I really didn’t want to like come on here and get that deep, but like I just want to talk about that video and how, you know, it’s so crazy. Like you drive by a motel and you don’t think twice. Are you? Anything is all. There’s a bunch of addicts and there’s a bunch of crime, a bunch of whatever, all of that stuff. And how those, you know, cheap, shitty motels have helped families in some kind of way or have helped people in some kind of way. They talk about it that much is something that is like still ongoing and still a little bit of a struggle. Be careful, but I, you know, I don’t wanna hurt anybody. It’s just crazy to me how many different situations could be in such, like a shitty motel, like, you don’t know, like every single person like, and I think about this all the time anytime I drive anywhere or I’m in a crowd of, you know, a bunch of people, like I just like look at certain people and I’m like, I wonder what their struggle is like. I wonder what they’re going through. I wonder what their life has been like because there’s so many people out there and we have no idea.

He’s always try to be nice. Like, I don’t know if you guys notice, I always ask people how they’re doing, like before I order food, before I order my coffee. I feel like majority of people don’t actually answer that question. You know, they’re like, good, how are you? It’s just like a natural response. But like, I genuinely wanna know how you are. Do get that answer back? Oh, I’m alright. Oh, I’m having a tough day, but how can I help you? Whatever. And then it’s like, well, let’s have a conversation. Like maybe someone needs to just have a conversation to have a better day, you know, I don’t know why am I’m rambling, but how do they come on here to talk about all this? I just, oh, like a day. I’ve been like deep in my thoughts today and I saw someone do this recently and I’ve been doing it. Yeah, a gray color. Have a good day. Bye.