In many cases, the breakup.
We found out that they wanted to break up with us today.
They’ve known about it for months,
in some cases, years.
It explains also, by the way,
why someone can move on at what feels to us like lightning speed.
And we go, how.
How did they. How did they move on weeks after we broke up?
How are they with someone else already?
I can’t even think of being someone else
with someone else without throwing up. How?
And it’s because they’ve had plenty of time to process this breakup.
We just found out about it.
So our processing begins the day we found out.
When you realise that one thing it does do is,
instead of romanticizing that person,
it allows you to realise that,
oh, my god,
I’ve been in this space telling myself they’re the right person.
The right person for me
would not have been spending the last six months
figuring out whether they wanted to be in this relationship
and ultimately coming to the conclusion that they didn’t want to be.
So I have to start shedding the story that this was my person.