I just wanna go on the record and say I tried my best to help this woman. I really did. So this woman came in yesterday and I didn’t think to do a story time on it because it, I mean, it wasn’t nothing like super funny or anything like that. Just a customer that I was trying to help. So she comes in and she goes back to the zucchini. And she’s wanting to gear her a zucchini and her husband is the one that wanted her to come get it. She had never used one before, didn’t know what they felt like or anything like that.
So while she’s back there, I’m like, okay, no problem. That’s what I’m here for. Make you have a good help, you have a good ex, you know, experience and help you pick out the right product. Okay, keep that in mind. You so I said to her, I said, well, would you be in a newbie?
What I recommend is when you get a zucchini, you compare it to your significant others zucchini. If he’s liking, get more. If you’re happy, don’t go extravagant. Maybe go one or two inches more. No, she didn’t wanna listen to me. Nope, nope, she did not. So we’re about, they’re looking at him and I’m showing her a 7, seven and a half.
Then I show her an 8 and she looks up and she’s like, oh my god, my baby. You don’t want that one. You do not want that one. She wanted the behemoth. Okay, the behemoth zuckeney. Now, let me tell you about this behemoth zuckini. Okay?
It is four fingers wide, first of all, is 12 inches long. Second of all. And third of our honey, you said you working with a six with your husband and she’d probably soaking wet ways about 95 pounds.
So I try and, you know, distract her and get her attention towards another one. I’m like, don’t you want this nice, you know, about one and a half, 2 inch wide, 7, you know, 7 inch slenders. This is okay. I think that would be a better fit. Nope, nope, nope.
She wanted the behemoth. So I was like, okay, that’s fine. You know, E80 is what it is. She wanna, what she want him. So she come up to the counter, I rang her up. She got some lube to go weird it and some toy cleaner.
And I sit around me way I so today like it. So today she comes back into the shop and Yao when she walked through this door, she looked like she had just stepped off of a horse, like she’d been a horseback riding and her legs were just elbowed out.
Yeah, I knew right away where her eyes wouting in that door. What went wrong, not what happened, what went wrong. And mind you, too, it’s hot as outside and she’s got on a really long trench coat that goes to her ankles. And she had to own soap when people would see her from behind, they couldn’t tell that, you know, she was with her legs spread apart. When I tell you, this woman was dripping sweat.
She was like, she was soaking wet. So anyway, maybe, and me, my drop, my jaw dropped.
And she walked in the door and she just stood there. I think you ain’t even got to tell me. I see. You ain’t even got to tell me what happened. You bit off morning. You could chew, didn’t you? She said, I should have listened to you. She said, I don’t know what to do.
She said, I feel like my hips are out of join. She said, I’m swollen there. She said, I just, I don’t know what to do. I saw a baby. I said, first of all, as you need to go home, fill you up a tub of ice and soak your ass for Polly about an hour. Take and go lay down and out do any strenuous activity at least for probably about what? Probably about. Wait.