What’s up, gang?
CV’s here. I really don’t like going to Walmart on Sunday,
but there’s something I need immediately.
I don’t need a car, so no alignment check.
I need one thing. Just one thing.
And no, it’s not a dirt bike.
They sell dirt bikes here?
I know I said I was only gonna get one thing,
but you guys see these new witches brew cans? Those are cool.
If you plan on making this recipe,
it’s gonna cost you nine dollars and thirty six cents.
Also, you see this mirror right here for traffic?
One time we were walking and HP ran directly into it,
just face first. She wasn’t paying attention.
Once you picked up her glasses off the ground
and determined she was okay,
me and her daughter laughed our asses off.
Poor girl. I got mouse traps because I have a mouse problem.
It all started a few months back.
I was driving across the state to visit Richard Eads.
I’m about halfway there, I’m in the Mustang,
I’m cruising along, and all sudden,
over there on the passenger floorboard,
out from under the dash, big old mouse comes out,
comes down off the floor, looks up at me.
I look at it, it looks at me,
I look at it, and then I’m like,
oh my god. Here runs back up under the dash.
And I have like an hour more to drive and I’m just
waiting for it to come out again.
Before I get to rigid tiles,
I stop at Meyer. I buy these traps.
These work, and it’s, like, instant.
You know, those sticky traps,
they just suffer. And most people just throw them away with the mouse.
Like,
these are like, good night.
Lights out. I pick up these tracks,
I slick it with some peanut butter.
I believe it was Jeff. I prefer Skippy.
Richard’s family. They’re a Jeff family.
I got over it. I load the trap,
I put her in the car. I wake up in the morning,
we got them, ladies and gentlemen.
We got them. And that was it until about three weeks ago.
HP and I are going to dinner.
We get to the dinner place,
we park, I get out.
As she walks on the car, a mouse runs in front of her.
And she’s like, ah!
Screams and jumps, and she’s like,
that was weird. A mouse.
I’m like, in my head,
I’m like, that thing came from my car.
That thing dropped from, like,
the engine bay by the wheel and ran in front of her.
came out of the wheel. Actually,
she said she saw it come out of the wheel.
I’m like, son of a bitch.
And then nothing until this morning.
I get up, I’m gonna take this thing up and get it cleaned for the week.
I open the door, and I just see babies.
Just babies. They’re babies.
They’re babies. Mama! Mama! Mama!
Got the doors open right now.
Got an airing out cause we Lysol’d the car,
all the seats, everything.
I open the door this morning,
right there, little baby about this big,
no longer with us. I turn,
little baby right there, no longer with us.
I go get some tongs to grab them.
I grab baby 1,
I grab baby two.
As I grab baby 2, I see little feet,
little feet are kicking. There’s another one in there
and it’s still alive. I take these two fingers,
I grab its tail, I pull it out, it’s hanging here like.
I take it over there, I set it on the ground.
I grab the largest one of those and I disperse of it very quickly.
It was humane.
Lights out. It’s really strange.
Most people don’t like the Mustang.
They make fun of me. Apparently. Mice,
they freaking love it. So I’m not driving that today.
I’m setting these four traps to inside,
on the floor, to outside,
underneath the front tires.
And we’re gonna see what we have tomorrow morning.
I will keep you posted.