how does it work with these other partners that you two have because it’s not just disconnected sex like these are relationships how does it work when something monumental good or bad happens in your life or in these partners lives it really depends on the relationship in the person some people we date who like Kiwi for example has a husband she has her primary partner who can support her when things like that happened so I partnered with that for three and a half years had knee surgery and his wife was out of the country and I went and stayed with him for four or five days after his well while he was recovering and was taking care of him whatever and I asked Stewart I was like is that cool and he said sure he didn’t need me home if they both had like bended body casts at the same time that would have been challenging but it’s also true like when you have more than one child um you know if both your kids really need you at the same time it’s a challenging time but you do your best just like when you have good friends too and not everybody can show up for you all the time because other things might be going on in their life but you know that they’re giving what they can to you because they love you and so that’s kind of the way I think about it if that helps