Wild Adventures in a Gorgeous Game: Fighting Peppers, Giant Axes, and Falcon Transformations

This game looks gorgeous. Oh my gosh! What is that? Are we gonna fight those things? What the fuck is that? The game opens. No shot! Dude, all I ever wanted was a life in my mountain free from you and your so called merits. Those high above don’t trust me. I understand that. And they send you and those knuckleheads to threaten me to obey and serve once more. I understand that too. But what I don’t understand is you bastards killing my kind. Oh, peppers! Scary peppers! No! What the hell was that? Stay back! Stupid dog! He’s a monkey of merit! This game is a monkey. So wild, Buddha once none other than me can challenge him to a duel. How about you bend the knees, admit the wrongs and we can put this behind us. Haha! Come at me, all of you! Oh god, what does that do? I don’t know what that does. Oh, I just made clone to myself. That’s so sick! Taste my axe! That’s a really big axe. Holy Dragon Ball Z! Dude, he just cut a mountain in half! That was awesome! Oh, he turned into a goddamn falcon! That is awesome! This game is wild! What the hell?