The millisecond my hands left the rail of the gold rails of the Golden Gate Bridge, I had what’s called an instantaneous regret for my actions. When I fell 220 feet, 25 stories, closing in on 75 miles an hour, the nearing the speed of terminal velocity in four seconds. These were the words that rang true in my mind. What have I just done? I don’t want to die. God, please save me. Rapidly, and then I hit the water. 15,000 pounds of pressure. That’s like a giant African elephant standing on your chest. Who survives that? When I resurfaced, initially, I kept going down. I couldn’t. I couldn’t stay above water. I kept going down, and I was drowning. I remember thinking to myself, this is it. This is where I go. Ain’t nobody coming to save me. I’m gonna die here today, and I don’t want to. What have I done? What did I do? God, I don’t wanna die! And at that moment, something very large and very slimy and very alive begins circling beneath me. And of course, in my panic, I’m thinking to myself, it’s a shark, and it’s gonna bite my leg off. And so, with my one good arm, I’m punching this thing to try to make it go away. But it’s not going anywhere. It’s circling faster and faster and faster, now bumping me up. No longer am I waiting or treading in the water. I’m lying atop of my back, being Kept buoyant by this creature, thinking to myself, this is one hell of a nice shark. It turns out, according to the witnesses later on, that it was no shark, was a sea lion. And it was keeping me afloat. Into the Coast Guard boat arrived behind me. Now, you can call that whatever you want, but that is my personal miracle, and I will always believe that god saved my life that day. I never, ever wanted to die by suicide on that bridge. I believed that I had to. And those are two categorically different things.