today I was attacked by a box I’ve always been afraid of jumping in public and I recognize that sounds ridiculous but you would be too if you experience the jump rope incident of 2,019 or when I was an innocent victim of the princess jump rope in 2,020 or the bunny hop of 2,022 after these incidents I vowed to never jump in public again so in 2,022 I was quite appalled when the fitness establishment of my choosing decided to include box jumps in their workouts I was so nervous that I would practice at home through a lot of practice I finally worked up the courage to do box jumps I I started small and I got to a medium high but then I had our hundred and twelfth child and uh things happen to your body last week I started going back to the gym a seven week old decided that they were going to sleep for seven hours do you know what that does to a person’s brain who has been on minimal sleep you think you can accomplish the world so I get to the gym this morning and what do you know box jumps day not in a box jump since I became pregnant with this child I didn’t go to the 6 inch box I went to the 20 inch box had so much confidence that I was gonna clear this box after not jumping in public for almost 10 months I maybe jump 2 inches I just tackled the box no just face planted on the box there was nothing classy about the situation that happened for this box tackled me the person next to me says no don’t worry no one saw really everyone saw so this is my official statement of retirement I will I am retiring I’m retiring jumping boxes and jumping in public and jumping ever again it’s hard and bodies are very humbling