Fellas, back several years ago, I worked in retail selling cell phones. We had a guy that worked for us named Tony. He was a good guy, funny as hell, good at his job, but also a bit of a partier. So he was one of those guys you knew would show up and do the job. You just knew that he wasn’t going to be on time. You also knew did he have an interesting story to tell you about the mischief that he had gotten up to in his off time. So one lovely Saturday morning, I’m working with a woman in her early to mid 30s and helping her get her new phone up and running. My store manager is directly across from me at the other counter. Tony comes as usual, 10 to 15 minutes late. He’s clearly had a rough night and is a bit dishevelled, but that’s also not unusual. What is unusual is that apparently he had turned on the notification SoundOn his phone and a very distinct notification sound for a male hookup app loudly went off. The woman in front of me excitedly exclaimed, oh, you golf too. While my manager has gone stark white, eyes wide as fucking dinner plates, Tony spouts off, real quick, huh? She goes, yeah, that’s the golf app, right? My husband’s on it all the time. He uses it to find partners to play with on the weekends because his friends don’t golf. Just this Morning he was on it talking to some guy and they met up to play today. He manages to start around here. I love golf. Nothing like spending a couple of hours whacking some balls and hitting some holes. She then says to Tony that he should play with her husband sometime, mentions his names. Tony’s eyes go wide and he blurts out, oh, yep, I think I’ve played a round or two with him. Good guy. Uh, I’m now fighting for my life doing everything I can not to die of laughter in front of this woman. Luckily, the woman’s new phone finished updating and I’m able to send her on her way. As soon as she hits the parking lot, all of us fuckin hit the floor laughing. Tony goes, fuck, I’m glad she left quickly cause I didn’t have the heart to tell her her husband’s a bottom. That’s where the story should end. But a couple of months later, I go to watch Tony and the woman’s husband do their best not to make eye contact while he upgraded his phone. And she stood there utterly confused why they weren’t talking about their shared interest in golf. Oh my god, here you go.