Navigating Friendships and Finances: The Uncomfortable Truths about Salary Differences

I think as we get older, the salary difference between our friends and people that we know becomes even more apparent. This refinery 29 article gets into what it looks and feels like when you start to not be able to afford hanging out with your friends anymore. So a recent study surveyed more than 1,000 people over the age of 18 and found that more than a third of Gen Z and millennials have a friend who pushes them to overspend. The idea that you go to a bar or a restaurant, your friend is like, let’s get another round of drinks or let’s go to get a dessert somewhere, and suddenly you’re spending more than you intended to. The survey found that people are increasingly looking to make friends with people who make the same amount of money as them. And so basically what this article gets into is a couple personal anecdotes from people who have tried to figure out what to do with this friend isn’t on the same earnings as me, and she made a joke to me that she told her mom she doesn’t know if she could be my friend anymore. Quote. That just shook my brain because she’s literally like a sister to me. And like, so much of this could obviously be resolved by talking about it, but it, as with any other thing related to money, it is so hard to discuss, even with people that feel like siblings to You. According to a survey, 55% of people don’t feel comfortable opening up when they have worries about their financial situation, more than half, despite 48% admitting that they have regularly worried about money. Recently, shame or embarrassment was cited as the top reason for not wanting to talk about money. And here’s a really, really good quote. It’s very isolating when your friends are doing well and don’t understand that you’re struggling. It’s hard to emphasize how bad things are going and how limited you really are. To admit that you do not have the money to go out to a certain place is to admit some sort of lack, and that’s painful to admit. And especially in our world, where we tie how much money we make to our senses of self worth, competencies, qualifications, identities, it can. It can feel as if admitting how much money you do or don’t have is like a personal or moral failure, even to your closest friends. So essentially, the main thing is, especially if you are the friend who makes more than everyone else, is to discuss expectations and where everyone is at. I think personally, the one who makes the most has the most power in the situation and really could be the one to initiate these conversations. But really, anyone should in the friendship. So, um, they say it’s important not to assume that all friends who spend more than you aren’t happy to adjust your budget, meaning If you talk about it, what’s to say that the person who makes a lot more won’t just be like, oh, let’s just get one drink, let’s just get happy hour. Like, basically give them an opportunity to let you down, you know? Cause they probably won’t.