Navigating a New Path: Reflections on Marriage, Lottery Wins, and Unexpected Realizations

If I win the lottery today, I’d probably file for divorce. Anyone else feel like this? My wife and I have been married for 10 years. I actually love her, but I don’t want to be married to her anymore. She had three children from a previous marriage. Two live with us full time and two kids together. I don’t feel appreciated or respected, and I feel far more peace of mind when she’s away. I’m the sole breadwinner and have been the whole marriage, and as is, we live paycheck to paycheck. I can’t afford to support two households. If I win the lottery, I’d split up with her. Anyone else feel this way? My wife has been away from home for over a week and this has caused me to self reflect, leading to this post. Any suggestions on how I should broach this subject with her when she returns? Update my wife got home from her trip Sunday night. She and I talked last night, and I guess it went as well as it could have. I’m still trying to figure out what it all means for me, but I think it’s good. So after talking, lots of emotional outbursts and anger and honest misunderstandings, we are finally on the same page and it’s kind of wild. She and I, since at least the beginning of the year, have seen our entire lives together differently. She claims that after a mutual mushroom trip, I said that I Should have let you her do your own thing. Claiming that she thought I was referring to letting her open the marriage. Literally nothing like that had ever entered my mind and I don’t recall saying it at all. Which leads me to believe that in our altered states of mind she saw it as a significant statement. And I suspect if I did say it, it was a throwaway comment about something else anyway. From that point on, and because she has basically explained that she has no interest in a sexual relationship with me anymore, she assumed that we were basically friends cohabitating and co parenting. Holy hell, I thought that we were still trying that whole time. Looking back at all our interactions, makes so much sense now. She has been extremely amicable but affectionately cold. Every time we went out we had fun, but I felt cut off from the kind of affection a husband and wife should have for each other. There are so many interactions that just make more sense in this context. There were things she said or asked about that just made more sense. She thought I was seeing someone for a while and asked about stuff which I answered honestly about, but that she thought was just an attempt to hide it. I think that Assumption just reinforced the idea that we are in essence romantically separated. Well, it’s weird to both mourn but also find sanity in a realisation as Far as I’m concerned, today, I’m single. We can’t afford to separate our residences, but that is fine. I know that will limit my dating options, but I’m not looking into dating anytime soon. It’s just nice to know that that is an option for me. When I’m ready, I plan on working with my wife to work out separate finances, and slowly untangle as much of our lives as we can under the circumstances.