In Search of the Perfect Book Boyfriend: A Hilarious Rant on Tropes and Preferences

I was going to put a song over this, but I feel like you guys need to hear my thoughts, so let’s go, man in uniform. I’ve read, like, three or four Mila Grey books. I don’t know if they’re in the Navy, I don’t know what they’re in, and does nothing for me. Um, seven. Bottom of the list, so sorry. Nine. There could be something worse. So nine. A distinguished gentleman. I don’t think I like that either. What are my standards? I mean, that sounds great in theory, sounds pretty boring. It’s like giving Bridgerton I feel like eight. Like, am I okay? Dad energy. I don’t like either. I’m, like, really specific on what I like in a book boyfriend, and it’s none of these. So, like, sex? I don’t know. Like, I don’t love single dad. Sweet and soft. Are these a joke? Someone is playing a joke on me. Sweeten soft is tat. That is the worst. Silver. What is the name of this filter? Okay, I don’t like silver fox. Like, it sounds like the golden bachelor. Let’s go 5. Okay, I think this. This filter is definitely, like, bad trope. Like, is it supposed to be bad qualities of book boyfriends? Grumpy. I like Grumpy 3 more than, I mean, a literal monster. Not me thinking this was, like, a book boyfriend trope. Like, best. Like, good traits, literal monster. I mean, I probably like it better than all of these if We’re being honest. Sounds like dark romance. Let’s go to the real me is coming out here. Playboy. Uh, not my favorite. For who knows what my number one is gonna be. Morally gray. Actually, not. That’s not so bad. Morally gray sounds like 50 shades of gray, and I love that book. So what in the world did I just do?