you know what I hear all the time I love my work and I love my family love them both do you love them as much as Pierre I’m so my question is is it a conflict and my answer is it’s a conflict and it’s coming for you it’s a collision course if you think I value my work huge amount and I value my family a huge amount unless you’re superhuman and if you are props to you that is one of the most common most complicated most brutal value conflicts that we face in our life and if you are feeling it you’re not alone I felt it for many many years was super hard as my kids were growing up I have some good news about values conflicts between family and work guess what does get better as your kids grow up and leave some of the conflicts naturally go away that’s number one number two you’d actually get better at managing that conflict believe it or not it’s a y’all it’s an aptitude 3 I wanna say something that might be kinda controversial if you value work more than your family that’s a very hard thing to admit but you gotta admit it at least to yourself otherwise you end up just living a lie as you’re trying to pretend that you value your family as much as you value work and you know what it’s okay I’m a values agnostic you’re not hurting anybody you have accommodations with your family where nobody’s being hurt then that’s your true self and don’t try to hide it or talk around it the best thing that will happen to you the thing that will set you free is when you admit it and it is a trade off and you can’t value those two things an equal amount you’ve got to have an honest conversation with yourself and your family or yourself and your boss about where your values really live it’s one of the biggest conflicts we work out in our life it’s tough hanging up