Adventures in the Baby Aisle: A Comedy of Errors from Dry Shampoo to School Bus Beeps

I’m freaking out. I just found out the dry shampoo that I’ve been using for the last eight years has a chemical in it that causes really bad things to happen. And usually I’m just like, everything causes bad things to happen, but apparently the chemical has been banned in every single product except in dry shampoo because it needs to spray. But I remember my friend’s mom told me that she uses baby sham, like baby powder in her hair because it’s like a cheap alternative to dry shampoo. So I’m gonna. I’m gonna go buy some of that. I can’t find the baby items. I’m near the plan B one step, but I don’t know if that means I’m close to the baby items or far. Okay, I found the baby section, and while I was walking here, this lady came up to me and she complimented my pants, and she asked where they were from, and I lied and I told her, they’re from ASOS. But, girl, I bought them in Spain because I didn’t want to say, oh, I bought them in Spain cause I don’t know what the store is called, so I just said ASOS. But now I feel bad cause I don’t know if that’s worse. But she was so nice, and she was wearing a white puffer just like me, and I was like, I like your puffer. We’re twins! Okay, false alarm. I was in the baby section, but I still Don’t know where the powder is, so I’m gonna have to ask a worker. Do you happen to know where the baby powder is? She didn’t know, either, so she’s checking her scanner. But in the meantime, look at the toothbrushes they sell for babies. Banana toothbrush, finger toothbrush, grow with me, training set toothbrush. Secured the bag. Oh, my gosh. I just got majorly beeped at by a school bus. Because they have, like, these stop signs on the school buses here, and apparently, if the stop sign pops out of the school bus, then you have to stop. But I didn’t stop because they don’t do that in Hawaii. And then they started beeping at me, and I stopped in the middle of the intersection, and the kid crossed the street behind my car because my car was in the middle of the intersection because I just stopped in the middle of the intersection because the bus told me to stop, and I didn’t know they did that there. Anyway, I’m sorry to that kid.