Yellowstone Season 6: The Final Ride – A Rant on Cowboys, Hallmark Tropes, and the Dutton Ranch Drama

Yellowstone’s coming back. And why, I hate to say it. God, I’m glad it’s almost done. Taylor Sharon did not write a cinematic masterpiece. He wrote sons of anarchy on horseback. To be fair, that show ain’t nothing but Lion King on motorcycles. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good show and I love it. But the influx of Jason Aldean, Luke Bryan, skinny Jean wearing wanna be cowboys is driving me crazy. Yep. Season six. I reckon it’s time for the Dutton Ranch to hit the dusty old trail. Good. Then you can bozo your way on yonder back to Baby Gap and leave Boot Barn alone. Gary, I’m a cowboy. I feel it in my soul. No, you’re not. You work in account for Steven. You’re grown man. Tell a novella, Hallmark Christmas movie and let’s wrap it up. I just don’t know what they’re gonna do without Kevin Costner’s character there. Sell the ranch. Which they should have done in the first place. It ain’t about the money. No amount of money could change a real cowboy’s mind. Y’all understand Taylor bought the four sixes, right? It’s a real ranch. He owns it now. He’s the bad guy. Yeah. He made them a reasonable offer. And that generational farm ain’t gonna have to worry about a thing. Truthfully, how many more trees are we gonna have to cut down so every 5 foot 8 guy can walk around with a toothpick in his mouth? I hear you, Razor Ramone. I’m just saying, it ain’t nothing but a Hallmark Christmas movie for dudes. Big city lawyer comes back to her hometown to save her daddy’s farm. Falls in love with cowboy from her past. Beth Dutton should be played by DJ Tanner. Thank goodness Paramount’s doing a recap until the season actually airs, cause it’s been so long. All of our minds have gone to the train station. We don’t know what’s happening.