And it has gotten me through a lot of weddings and baby showers to have my dream job To sit in the back row like yeah whatever Have your bullshit love party Hope it works out I’m still gonna have the coolest job of anybody you know And that was true until somebody married an astronaut And everybody’s so impressed I guess astronaut beats everything They’re like “You gotta admit Taylor, that’s the coolest job” And I’m like “Oh, he’s gotta wear a costume or he’ll die” F*ck off That’s a dumb job Now, if I can’t breathe somewhere I don’t go there, Dan That’s just science Dan hasn’t even been to space you guys He just goes to work and “practices space” That’s his job He goes in they put him in a roller coaster ride They’re like, “don’t throw up” He’s like “You got it captain” What a hero I’m not proud of this but I told the girl that married him, I was like “You better hope he never does go to space” She goes “Why, cause it’s dangerous” “No, cause he’s gonna cheat on you up there” Oh, you don’t think astronauts are cheating They’re in space for months floating How long do you think it’s gonna take before one of them looks at each other like “Hey, you know what we should try” Houston, we have a problem Not a big one I mean it’s medium It’s not small or anything I’m just saying What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas What happens on the moon Never even happened We faked that landing That’s a joke We didn’t fake it There were no female astronauts back then