Underwhelming Haunted House Horror: A Review of Netflix’s Latest Original Film

Considering this is a Netflix original, the fact that it isn’t absolutely fucking terrible should be seen as a huge achievement. But every time Glenn Close came on screen I did get a “Fucking hell, it’s Zelda from Terrahawks” Jumpscare. And even though Andra Day is great as the take no shit, sassy as fuck single mother living in a haunted house, the story is boring, derivative, overlong, and in desperate need of some fucking urgency. This isn’t terrible, but it’s still fucking shite.