Struggling with Body Image: A Personal Reflection on Self-Esteem and Confidence

I kind of hope I’m alone when I say this fact because it’s sad and I haven’t liked my body in three and a half four years no matter if I’m in a thinner body or a thicker body at the moment I literally have never liked what I’ve seen in the mirror for the past four years every single time I look at myself I beat something up I’m like maybe you could skip a meal maybe you could eat more protein maybe you could do this maybe you could do that I’m so sick of every single time that I look at myself I’m just like what could I do better I’m never like wow you look good today or wow you feel really good in your workout I always speak negatively and I’m kind of I’m over it and I really do hope I’m alone in that statement because it’s so upsetting like I just remember I used to be so confident in a bathing suit I used to be so confident in a crop top even when I was in like a thicker body when I was like going through the beginning stages of E d recovery back in college like I was so confident in a crop top and like no bra and just like having so much fun and now I’m like I have to hide myself in baggy t shirts and baggy sweatshirts all the time and I don’t wanna hide myself but I just feel like when you’re 24 25 you’re in your mid twenties your body is just changing and I have no boyfriend I’m not having kids anytime soon so I’m like why is my body just changing so much I know it’s biological and huh it’s so frustrating being a woman it really is because I can tear myself down all day and it’s hard to pick myself back up