The Monkey of Merit: A Duel Like No Other

He’s not just any monkey. He’s a monkey of merit. A monkey was made Buddha once. None other than me can challenge him to a duel. Such a ghetto. Look, monkey. I don’t make a habit of fighting someone I’ve bested before. Here’s my offer. If you lose, I’ll take you to the celestial court. They will stay and level your mountain. But if I lose, I shall certainly take revenge. And they will level your mountain nonetheless. So there’s no fucking win for me.