The Unconventional Ratings and Unexpected Heist: A Story of Quirky Characters and High-Stakes Safecracking

He’s an 8, but he thinks forks are for yuppies. She’s a 15, but her hair is ants. He’s a 5, but he’s a foot. She’s a 2, but she has a sweet medieval armor hookup. He’s a 9, but he breathes like. She’s a 6, but she’s obsessed with nickel pickles and pickled nickels. He’s a 3, but he made Tony Robbins cry and poop his pants on five separate occasions. She’s a 9, but she won’t shut up about that time she met Emily Dechanel’s assistant’s assistant in Montauk 12 years ago. He’s a 7, but his dad owns a dealership. He will totally hook you up. She’s an 11, but on your first date, she says to you, before we go any further, there’s some people I think you need to meet. All of a sudden, some weird up tempo jazzy bass starts playing and four people walk into the room. Their names are Rat Trap, Blade, Scuttle, and Corbin. They’re her heist crew and she’s their leader. Corbin points to you and says, you mean to tell me this is a safe cracker? I don’t see it. So she says to Corbin, oh, trust me, this one knows their stuff. Tosses you a stethoscope, a bag of tools, and places you in front of a locked safe. You have 60 seconds to get it open or else scuttle will scuttle you.