I don’t even need to have the box open yet to tell you that what is in here is easily the weirdest thing I’ve ever worn on this account. Seeing it truly made my brain hurt. Packed awfully luxuriously for something which is frankly, an abomination. It’s from the brand mischief, which is the same place that makes those big red cartoon boots. You know, if that gives you any indication of what’s in here. I don’t know if they’re a legitimate brand or it’s all just one big joke and I’m the butt of it. Huh. What the fuck is that? Thank god at least there’s Velcro on them. Why? For who? For me, I guess. I was about to tell you that it looks like I have a random pair of slides vertically on my ankles, but then I realised that’s actually. That’s actually exactly what I have on. They’re not comfortable either. Come back for part two and I’ll style them.