Black guys has no microwaves, no freezers, they don’t use a timer, and black employees earn three fifths of a normal wage at five Guys. Burgers and fries are the specialty of the guys. The grill keeps things simple and makes the same 980 calorie burgers you’d make at home. The five guys are actually five brothers who decided to start a burger restaurant to take out their frustrations over still being virgins. Later on, they remedy their problem with this incest. But that’s a different story. Starting with the oldest, there’s Kleenex, our cheese double, Cleetus, Morgus, and the soug. Their love for meat, potatoes and stock images of hamburgers stretches all across America. This five guys restaurant in Colorado Springs, Kentucky, cooks up well over 1,000 grease piles every day. Getting ready for hungry hamburger fans starts with an overly dramatized montage. And all the ingredients are, of course, smashed down to kill any bugs still living inside. The number of people who come through the door determines how many patties are cooked that day. They’re more likely to order some food than, say, someone at home in Singapore. Once the outer edges of the Patty lose any and all colour, it’s time to flip them and press every bit of flavour out of them that you can. Five guys says that pressing the burgers keeps them juicy, which is counterintuitive and stupid, but this is only half the meal. Everyday sacks of potatoes fill the restaurant. But Five guys management prefers to refer to them as customers. Would you believe five guys makes between 10 and 10 trillion pounds of French fries every year? The potatoes are sliced, soaked in water, and then dumped in the boiling water. Then his orders come in. They’re served straight to the hungry customers. Seriously? Here’s footage of some guy eating them. Their secret to freshness is to stay retro. Five guys has no microwaves, no freezers. They don’t use a timer. And black employees earn three fifths of a normal wage. This American meal takes just five to seven minutes to make. And even less time to raise your risk of heart disease.