Snack Wars: The Tale of Twinkie, Ding Dong, and the Forgotten Snowball

With news in recent weeks that hostess is going out of business, fans everywhere have been lamenting the loss of the beloved Twinkie. Here now to offer his take a ding dong. Музыка what’s up, Seth? Well, thank you, uh, thanks so much for coming. Ding dong. Wow. Ooh! Ha ha! You know my name now? I mean, with all this Twinkie talk, I thought everybody had forgotten about me. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love Twinkie. You know, that’s my snack brother from another batter. But I gotta ask. That’s funny. I gotta ask one thing. Ain’t got no love for the ding dong? I said, y’all ain’t got no love for the ding dong. It seems like you might be a little upset by all the attention Twinkie is getting. Is that what it seemed like? Well, y’all act like the Twinkie is the only one with a delicious, creamy filling. I used to be top of the snack game, baby, before they decided to make the Twinkie the face of the company. Next thing you know, they rush me to the back of the aisle with the bread and stuff for some punk ass sponge cake. But I’m gonna tell you something, Seth. I know what’s going on. I see, I see, I see what’s going on? What’s going on? They’re trying to keep me down, Seth. Why? I don’t know, man. Look. And look, I hate to be like this because they always say I fall back on the chocolate. But I think this is. This is snack profiling, man. Come on. It’s snack profiling. It’s not snack profiling. What do you call it? To be fair, you’re not the only snack cake that hasn’t received attention. I mean, you haven’t heard anyone mention the host of snowball. What the fudge? You really gonna. You really gonna do me like that? You gonna compare me to a snowball? The saddest pink ass snack cake at the truck stop? No, I’m sorry. Come on, now. I mean, even. Even homeless kids won’t eat a snowball that throw it right back at your face. I mean, the kid would rather eat broccoli and bok choy. Bok choy than a snowball. Okay, look. Gotta be hot up in here. Look, if I made Ding dong. Call me dong. No ding dong, what’s next for you? I’m going back to the rap game. Oh, yeah, you were in the rap game? Oh, yeah, I did. Uh, you probably heard this. I did this cut with Dr. Dre few years back. Uh, you remember ding ding ding? That was you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was me. And then me and sugar got into a fight. You got him, sir. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me sugar is bad for you. Me and Sugar Girl got into a fight. So you know somebody. Some contract disputes or whatever like that. But now make. Make Sure. Y’all go out and pick up my mixtape, Cake Up, volume 1. Okay, I got a Wonder Bread on that joint. I got my dude. Let me see. I got Honey Bun on there. I got a hot I’m B featuring a little Debbie. Okay, and I’m out, y’all. Ding, ding, dong, ding.