Came home early to find out my wife had been cheating on me. And when confronted, she said it was fair as she thought I cheated on my business trips as well. I 38 meters just found out my girlfriend, 36F a 5 years cheated on me. And I found out in the worst way. Just some background info on me. I’ve never been married, nor do I have any kids. It’s not that I don’t want either. Life just hasn’t had those plans for me yet, I guess.
Anyway, to the story. Friday after work, I left to go on a weekend trip with the guys to one of my buddies cabins on the lake. Nothing too crazy, fishing, drinking games, just good old fun. Usually we do these trips about every 3 months to get time to ourselves and give our SOS a break from us. I usually stay through the entire weekend and just leave from there to go to work on Monday morning.
However, this weekend, I left my laptop in the office room and forgot to grab it. So around four PM, I started to head home, figuring I’d be there by 6:00. And Rachel, let’s call her Rachel, wouldn’t have eaten by then. So I called in an order at our favorite Italian place, stopped and picked it up and headed to the house. I walked in and everything seemed normal. I could hear Rachel laughing in the kitchen, so I figured I’d just walk in and surprise her. As I got closer, I started to overhear the conversation she was having on the phone. And in an instant, my life was shattered. I assumed she was talking to her sister or maybe one of her friends, but the conversation basically went like this.
Last night was just amazing. He was such a considerate lover. I’m telling you, I’ve never had anything like it. We met on Tinder and he took me out last night. By the time we made it through the door, we barely made it to the sofa. Oh, god. Big, like twice as big as insert my name. I’ll definitely be taking him for a test drive again.
After that line. I just dropped the food on the floor. Rachel heard it and turned around. By that time, I already had tears Welling up in my eyes. She hung up the phone and tried to get to me, but I just pushed her off, went up to the office, grabbed my laptop and left.
Rachel has been hysterically texting and calling the past four days and I haven’t answered one. I’m staying at a motel a couple of towns over, so I doubt she will be able to find me. My buddies and mom have called as Rachel has frantically been trying to locate me. But I’ve assured everyone I’m okay and there is nothing to worry about. My life has been ruined by a stupid phone call. I really thought this was the girl I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I’m an only child and my mom keeps reminding me she wants grandkids.
I had planned on proposing this year on the 4th of July as it would be our six year anniversary. I’ve already got the ring and my buddy and his wife already know about the plan as they are the ones who set us up and host the 4th cookouts. Any advice from you on here would be appreciated.
This is the first time I’ve dealt with infidelity in any relationship. I’m really just broken at this point. Do I contact Rachel? Should I hear her out after that phone call? The thought of her just makes me sick to my stomach. Thanks for anyone who reaches out.
Relevant comments. Comment No. 1, she was bragging about cheating on you. You will never forget what you heard. Time to move on. Comment No. 2, to add to this, she showed you who she is. Be glad you learn now and not after being married for many years. Comment No. 3, you have already heard everything from her you need. Don’t look back. Best case scenario, arrange for your friends to collect your things and never speak to her again. The only closure to be had is from her side. Never give her a chance to apologize. Don’t talk to her friends or if your mutuals try to give you a message from her, ghost them, too. Make a post to social media explaining what happened.
Pegger comment No. 4. Yes, do this since you’re a nice guy who probably can’t imagine doing this to her, you will want to try and understand and fix things. You’ll try to be a pick me. Make it loud in public so you can’t go back. You dodged a bullet. Trust me.
I found out this past year that half my life is a lie. After 27 years together with 3 kids, my WW. Cheated on me multiple times. Over those years. I had an opportunity to leave her the first year we dated when I found out she probably cheated on me. But I tried to understand and fix things. Don’t be me.
Update 1. Hello, everyone. First off, I would like to thank everyone for their kind words. I have had a very stressful week, and while I did not feel up to replying to anyone’s posts, I want you all to know that I read them and your words help me through the week. This has been a devastating event for me. And each and every one of you that commented or reached out through Chat, Brighton my day just a tiny bit. With that said, here is the most recent update.
Last Friday night, after my buddies got to the hotel, I explained what I had heard on the phone call. All three of them were stunned, to say the least. They asked if I had seen any signs of this. And tbh, I really hadn’t. I said I didn’t know what I was going to do. I informed my one buddy that the proposal was off. And given the circumstances, he completely understood. One thing I had my buddies do when they left their houses was turn off tracking in case their significant others were checking.
Getting back to Rachel, I know Rachel is close with one of the wives, but at this point, I didn’t want to take any chances that night. We spent the night at the hotel bar and I tailspun pretty hard. It wasn’t pretty. My buddies were getting calls all night from the SOS asking where they were. And to their credit, they stood their ground and backed me up, just saying that we were safe and not to worry. One asked to speak with me after assuming that they knew where we were, but I didn’t want to talk to her. She kept saying Rachel is worried and just wants me to come home. I just told my buddy to deal with it and I’ll fill them in another time. I spent most of the night hitting on the bartender, which I’m not proud of, and a couple of girls who were traveling for work the next day. I thank them all for spending time with me and they took off back home.
This week, I had one of my buddies scope out the house we were renting as it was on his way to work. And he gets to work after Rachel and I would have already left for the day.
Rachel had taken Monday and Tuesday off, but went back to work on Wednesday. As soon as he informed me of this, I went to the house and started packing as much stuff as I could. The house was a mess. Dishes in the sink, clothes laying everywhere. Trash was full of takeout. And ordered food. It took me about three and a/2 hours to get all my stuff out. Before I left, I cleaned up for Rachel as a final gesture.
That afternoon and evening, I got flooded by Rachel with calls and texts after she realized that I had come home and gotten all of my things. So for now, I’m staying at my mother’s house until I can find a place of my own this fall. I spoke with the landlord, and without Rachel’s signature, he won’t remove me from the lease, meaning I will have to cover my half of it until October. My mom has said I can stay with her until then, at which point I will try to find a new place. I know a 38 year old moving back in with his mother. How amazing life has treated me.
I finally contacted Rachel on Thursday and told her we could meet up at a local bar and grill downtown Friday evening. I told her one of my buddies would be attending to make sure everything was on the up and up. She complained for a few minutes, saying she wanted me to come home and talk with her so we could move past this. But I told her if she wanted to see me, this was how it was going to be. Eventually, she agreed.