First, let me preface this by saying everything is fine in my personal life. I’m not going through anything, okay? I’m just saying this because I’ve seen too many women on this app going through optional with these men. If you want to be married to someone, okay, if marriage is what you want, totally fine. Want that. Not saying you can’t want that or that it’s wrong. Calm down.
But if it were me now, I was once in your shoes, okay? But if it were me now, with what I know now and the learning and the growing that I’ve done, if I tell you I wanna be married and the expectation is that we get married by a certain time. And now as to the point where I’m begging you, I’m constantly questioning you when we’re getting into arguments about when are you gonna propose. Now, I’m hoping that our married friends and family will influence you to propose. And I’m constantly dropping hints and I’m seeing people get engaged and I’m nudging you in the shoulder, I don’t even want it anymore. I’m good. How is it romantic when you finally, if you finally get that proposal to know that you had to work and beg for that , Mommy, tell us a story about how daddy proposed.
Well, it all started because I spent five years drop enhance. I spent a whole year arguing with him to propose to me. Finally, I spent 10 years hoping that hanging around our married friends will influence him.
that. There was once a time in my life when I would put up with that . And some of you are perfect and you never went through anything, I am not that person. I have made mistakes and that’s why I’m here to tell the tale. You can trust what I’m saying. In my life, I have never witnessed a situation where somebody nagged, begged, argued or constantly hint dropped for their boyfriend to propose to where they finally got that proposal and that was a happy, healthy marriage. I ain’t never seen it in my life. And at any exception to the rule is lying through their teeth. How you start is how it’s gonna be consistently. You begged and borrowed and argued for him to propose and when you get married, you’re still gonna have to beg, borrow and drop pants for him to do in that relationship for you, for the house, for the kids, for his own life. I don’t want nothing. I had to beg for not a thing.
This is why I talk about decentering men. Once you do that, your patience will be thin. A lot of these dudes do this because they know you’re not gonna go anywhere ever. But once you’ve done the work of decentering men, you’ll be like, you know what? You think you got me? that. I’m gonna move on. I’ll go be with somebody who sees my worth. I will wait for that to happen, but I am begging nobody to be with me. I had to beg you. Oh, no. Let me tell you something. I will struggle to fit my favorite jeans over my butt if I wanna fit him that bad. Okay, I will struggle to get a zipper over my back if I wanna wear a dress that I think is cute. Okay, and I’m aware that dress, but struggle to keep you in my life, struggle to get you to be with me. No, I heard one of my friends say this years ago. If you’re gonna struggle, buy a house, flip it and struggle figuring out how to do that and then make a couple hundred thousand off of it or tens of thousands of dollars off of it, depending on what you invest. 10. But stop putting all your time, energy and sometimes money into these men where there’s no return on investment. Decentering men doesn’t mean you don’t want marriage or relationships, okay?
And after that, it’s gonna be a miserable life because he didn’t wanna do it in the first place.