Guess who’s back on the dating app? Me. This girl, bro. I just got home and I was cleaning up my makeup and look at what happen to my favorite shimmery blush hype. So sad. Anyway, I’m back on the dating apps and before any haram police comes for this step right here, I want you to go to my profile, read my bio, and then shut up. Cuz I don’t care. Like a week ago, my big adult self sat and redownload it Muslim matchmaking app. And so far it’s been, eh, I’m having a couple of conversations. There is a couple of unmatches already and there are like three or so princesses who are waiting for me to send the first message to them, which is never gonna happen cuz at least at this moment, at 4 times while I was doing the process, I haven’t really done anything different than what I would usually do when I’m like presenting myself in the world.
I like to show you exactly what you’re gonna get. So one picture you’re gonna see is me with like a full face of makeup on because I’m a girl who likes to play. Makeup, you’re not gonna get only bare face picture and then you show up in real life and it’s like, oh, you’re wearing 50 pounds of foundation. Yes, sir. I wear 50 pounds of foundation 40% of the time. Another picture that I like to put up there is a picture with me and a turban. Again, if you read my bio, not a hijabi. I’m not a hijab. I wear hijab sometimes. I tie turbines. I’m not a hijab. Another picture that I like to put up there is like a picture of like me being like active or like in nature or some thing. And of course I have one picture on there, like with my bare face, just so you know, this is not a catfish. Yes, I look good with makeup on, but I also look great with no makeup on. So like it’s a win.
And then like for my bio, I put like, you know, the basic stuff. I usually try to put like, you know, I’m a sibling, my favorite color, like a fun fact about me or something. And so when I’m having a conversation with someone and then they turn around, so let’s say for example, like on my profile, I put like I’m the first of three or something and then they turn on and ask a question like, hey, do you have siblings? What does that tell me? You’re so lazy that you matched with me. And let’s say, even though we just started having a conversation, you have not bothered to take the time to go and glance over my profile and see what I wrote. And that to me is a big note. I wouldn’t like unmatch with you, but it the conversation is not gonna go well from there. So it’s either gonna be something along the lines of, oh, I have two siblings, you know, as I wrote on my profile, just to let you know that, hey, you know, some of this information is already there. Many dumb, but they’re not that dumb when they do that. It’s they’re just not interested. They’re just letting you know that, yeah, they’re chatting with you, but they’re not that interested in you.
Because a man who’s like, oh, I am really interested in her would want to like get everything like all the context clues that you’ve already given to him in order to maximize his chances.
So for example, let’s say I put my profile, I have two siblings. Rather than come in and asking me, do you have siblings? Which I already wrote on my profile, Sarah, somebody who has read your profile and is truly interested in you would come and say, so I see you have two siblings. Are you the oldest, the youngest, the middle? How does that family dynamic look like? No, it’s not that hard. It’s not that hard. It’s not that.
And then I also usually put like the big cop things that I’m not interested in, like in regards to men. So for example, no men with kids, no man interested in polygenny. And, you know, even when you put things like that, you would still go to see who has liked your profile and you’d wanna read and look down, oh, I’m with other three.
I’m like, bro, they don’t they I’ve I Learned this a long time ago. They don’t read before matching. So I don’t expect that anymore. I do expect you to read after we’ve matched. If you like my profile just based on my pictures, that’s fine. That’s cool. I mean, it’s me. I expect that. And then I like your profile based on your picture and your bio because I would never match someone without scrolling down and actually reading what they have on their profile. So rematch and then after rematch, you wanna start a conversation with me and I’m seeing context clues that you haven’t bothered to glance at my profile. I just lose interest from that point on.
I’m not willing to like put in any kind of effort basically because like you’re not gonna put an idea for wash night. And then another thing I am really good at like matching energies. So if you come to me and let’s first of all, let’s say you’re respectful and you say salamaliko, that’s it. I will respond to you while it comes along. That’s it. And we’re just gonna look at each other until eventually, you know, someone’s gonna match. Because I feel like you can do so much better. When I used to be on Bumble, I used to be on Bumble. When I used to be on Bumble and where like the woman had to make the first move, I had like a strategy that I use because I, again, I don’t feel like I’m a bad conversational list, but if you want to give me nothing, you will get nothing in return.
Quick pro quote. When I used to use Bumble, whether when the woman had to send the first message, I would send a message. I would say, hey, and I would use your name. I cuz, hello, my name is on. That’s another thing. If you come. Okay, this is something that I unmatch immediately. If you come to my profile. And I’ve clearly created a profile and I’ve written Yaya y a as my name, why would you come and say hello, beautiful or salamaliko habiti or whatever else name that you want to use. That is not the name that I have put on the platform to be addressed by.
I immediately unmatch. I don’t even give you a second chance because. No, just go away. Yes, I don’t strict. This is not a tutorial. Don’t listen to what I say. Do what you do. Okay, this is not a how to. Okay? I’m just telling you what I do. If you call me any other name, that’s not the name that I have chosen and approved to be addressed as on the platform, I’m immediately unmatching because that’s just, that’s disrespectful that you have no respect for me. I made a choice and you were like, nah, I’m not gonna I’m not gonna forget that she didn’t mean that. I’m gonna call her what I wanna call her. And that’s just not okay to me. Anyway, back to Bumble.
Hello, blah blah. Nice to meet you. How are you doing today? That’s it. You have said hello. You have addressed them by their proper name and you have asked a question so that they can get back to you, even if it’s just a, hey, yeah, yeah, you know, I’m doing good.
Thank you. How about you? And I can say, you know, I’m doing good too, you know, just getting into this and that. And then he can have something to say back. You know what? I, you get what I’m saying. If you’re just saying salami comes to me, you get what I come salaam. That’s it.
Now, if you wanna like catch yourself and like try to salvage the conversation and continue, okay, again, I will give you exactly what you give me. But anyway, you girl is back on the daily apps and we’ll see. I’ll keep you guys updated. So far I’m having like three good conversations. I’m having like three good conversation. One person is in Texas. Two of them are out of state. But yeah, we’ll see. The shower, my face is drying off. Story times to come and show up. We’ll see you see how the dating apps are treating your role this time.