Oh, boy. Talk about The Perfect Storm. So I was of late last night recording lines for a script that I was asked to do. And in that script, there was a word that neither I nor either of the two people that could have written that script knew how to pronounce.
We finally got to an approximation, but I didn’t get to bed until after midnight. And just as I was starting to fall asleep, my 6 month old woke up both my wife and I. He wasn’t happy. It took us a while to get him back to sleep. And there’s now pushing 2:00am, I go back to bed and then I get woke up at 5:30, the boys awake again. And the reason I was woken up and asked to take care of the boy is because our other son, our 3 year old, had woken up and was demanding breakfast or I guess, you know, he’s 3, breakfast, which is not only just a callback, but an accurate representation of how he says that. So I’m tired, very tired. At any moment now, I could close my eyes and go to sleep. And the only thing that’s keeping me awake right now is an energy drink that I chugged this morning, one that I had no intention of drinking until I absolutely needed it. And today I felt like I needed it. So usually I stick to coffee drinks, but I doubt this thing. I’ve had them before.
C4 Ultimates. No. See, for ultimate, try stem. This thing hit me like a ton of bricks, like giving me enough energy and wherewithal to be like focused to get my son to his multiple appointments he had today, but also giving me that extra little wherewithal to be absolutely worried about everything. But stated in a video a few days ago that some of the first amount of donation money that came my way had to get used to cover my mortgage from last month because it got completely forgotten about. And with the that was going on in my job at the time, I hadn’t had enough money to cover that. So while my two buddies are covered for their travel expenses so far, I’m not. When the second round of money came through, I made sure that they got theirs. And ever since then, most of the money that’s come in towards me has been getting used to, you know, catch up with the intent that when I do get paid this week, next week after, that money is going towards the trip. Like I’ll use that to supplement what I’ve had to spend.
But see, I’m both still tired enough that I keep forgetting that and then I’m just freaking the out about potentially not being able to go to the North Forge gathering, which I still plan to go, but you know, you know how that is. You’re tired. Your brain forgets certain things and you start freaking out and then you remember and then you’re still freaking out, but not as much. It also doesn’t help that it’s got me so worked up that most of my content, you know, is getting to the point where it takes a miracle to break 1,000 views unless it’s something that, you know, I monetize my stuff the best I can because, you know, how am I gonna say no to extra income when I have two children in a mortgage? But TikTok, what I’m pretty sure is going on is they’re preparing for their legal . So maybe they’ve cut back on everybody just because of this. But yeah, most of my videos are not getting more than 1,000 views, so they’re not eligible. And the ones that are getting over 1,000 views are like duets or they’re under a minute anyway, so they’re not eligible. Somebody has been going through and promoting my videos though, I’ve noticed, cuz some people have been telling me my videos are sponsored. So I’ve been going in and I’ve been looking at them and somebody’s been gifting me promotions. So yeah, those videos will now be eligible.
But yeah, for today at least, just to sum things up, I have been bouncing back and forth between freaking out about not having the money to go to the North Forge gathering, despite having received donations and having to dig into that money, which I’m not happy about. And trust me, everyone who’s close to me knows how unhappy I am about that. And then remembering, oh yeah, I’m gonna reimburse myself. And it’s just back and forth all day to freaking out about wondering what the I’m even doing on this app anymore when the app itself doesn’t want people to see my stuff. Not that the people that see it don’t like it, majority of them do. But yeah, like people up that have been following me for years have been coming up going, dude, I haven’t seen your in months. Even this video, I’ll be surprised if more than 300 of you see it.
Yeah, if my current mental state is sounding at all familiar to any of you out there, you might want to evaluate your energy drink intake. But yeah, I’m looking forward to getting a decent night sleep. And then maybe, just maybe being normal for me anyway.