Well, I reckon the last few weeks alone have been enough to fill ten chapters in the history books. Frankly, I can’t keep up. I’ve had to rewrite this damn song six times. But enough about me. What are we supposed to tell our youngins? Or if you’re a childless cat lady who hates kids like I am, what are we supposed to tell our Persians? Gather round, y’all, and let me catch you up to speed. The con man and the old guy ran for prayers. Oh, the con man and the old guy ran for prayers. One was crooked and unfit, the other couldn’t run for shit, but just a sign, they dined charade for prayers. Y’all keep up now. Democratic folks were getting nauseous, mega mega folks were getting bold. Old guy fumed when the Dems got cautious, Dems got scared cause the old guy’s old. Democratic folks cried, we want better critics, and the old guy flocked in hers. Clooney cracked in an open letter, old guy’s nice but he can’t talk. But that’s just the beginning. And suddenly the con man was a hero, which juxtaposed the old guy who was sleepy. The Dems all said, hell no, now the old guy’s gotta go, and they said their side’s instead on Madame V.P. My fellow Americans. The old guy passed a torch for his country, to resurrect the campaign he was torching. He vowed to still defend and protect us till the end, just as long as he’s in bed by wheel of fortune. Yes, as long as he’s in bed by wheel of fortune. Now the lawyer or the con man will be prezzed. Will the lawyer or the con man be the prezzed? Once a pill and end a crock, the other’s bout to clean his clock, and now it’s up to us who will be prezzed. Ain’t it exciting? Democratic folks went to the Constitution, mega mega heroes shook Gutsdale. Lawyer fights at the Constitution, one man fights to stay out of jail. Democratic folks said, let’s go. Hi girl, mega mega folks said, let’s get high. Nancy said to the old guy, bye girl. Old guy said to the Thames girl, go home. We are not going back. The lawyer had a plan for the future. Unlike the shady con man she was trolled by, they flooded her dot com so she quickly won the num. And now just like that, the con man is the old guy. Now con man keeps on denigrating lawyer, despite his many crimes and derelictions. Republicans all cry lawyers just a DEI, but they’re fine with con man’s 34 convictions. Say what? Yeah, they’re just fine with 34 convictions. So the lawyer or the felon will be prezzed? Will the lawyer or the felon be the prezzed? One inspires and excites, the other wants to block our eyes, and now it’s up to us who will be prezzed. Get your act together. Democratic folks said, moving on. American mega-hooks said, J.D. Vance. Lawyers start again, a con man starting to crap his pants. People on the left got back on track, and people on the right got what they feared. Con man asked if the lawyer’s black, and lawyer laughed, because the con man’s weird. That’s the laugh of a crazy person. I’d like to say a word to my country. Some schmaltzy thoughts I offer to you gratis. Our choices in plain sight, one is darkness, one is light. And apparently one’s brat, whatever that is. Stay strong, don’t lose your faith in the chaos. Lest you become a panic-ridden wino. I know we’ll choose the light, and this all will turn out right. Or maybe not, girl, what the f*** do I know? But the lawyer or the con man will be prezzed? Will the lawyer or the con man be the prezzed? One’s a whiny little putz, the other’s into coconuts. One just won the donor class, the other’s heads up Putin’s ass. One inspires and excites, the other wants to chuck our rights. But that don’t mean that one won’t be the… Now it’s up to us, who will the lawyer or the con man be the prezzed? I don’t know. That’s the laugh of a crazy person.