Doing Crumble Cookie versus Insomnia. Battle of the punk ass ages. Insomnia’s oatmeal chocolate walnut. Oh, it’s pleasant. The oldiness gives it like just kind of a comfort food vibe. Crumble’s chocolate chip. It’s soft, but still somehow borderline dry. How the fuck do you pull that off? Insomnia’s double mint chocolate. It tastes like the fucked up part of Christmas. No balance. Crumble’s chocolate cake batter. It’s buckling under its own weight. It’s not appealing to me. And the chocolate on top of chocolate, one trick pony. Insomnia’s peanut butter chip. It’s a peanut butter cookie. Crumble’s M&M peanut butter. Well, I’ve stabbed the roof of my mouth off of this. I tried to bite it, and that little bitch right there turned into a shard of glass. A layer of peanut butter inside. I did not expect that. The peanut butter saved this one. It’s worth the injury. This is a PB&J-filled classic, but this one has jelly inside. It’s good, it’s damn near refreshing. Peanut butter exterior with that ever so delightful berry and jam. Pink sugar from Crumble. Stupid, basic. Dolce de leche from Insomnia. I’m not a fan. Like, why not just give me gooey dolce de leche? Did you try Kentucky butter cake? This one shot juices in my mouth? Glitter? Do you hear that? This is the most moist cookie. You can literally see moisture just pouring out of it. Wow. Last from Insomnia. The gold metal lemon-filled classic. A lemon ganache? What do I even call that? Fire. Imagine a lemon tart cookie. The only thing holding it back. These little dumbass sugar crystals. A lemon blackberry cake from Crumble. The jam is nice, fresh berry flavor. Just minimal sweetness. The icing has a berry flavor. Well, let’s talk about this freckled ass cake. Exponentially dry. All in all, neither brand is superior. They both suck ass in their own special way.