Say hello to my little swan friend from Hyde Park. I’ve landed in London on my way to Costa Rica, living in a way that I never thought possible, all because I took a chance on packing myself away and living where I land. Just paying rent where I land. It’s the most amazing adventure I’ve ever been on. I definitely have had to push through my comfort zone, and it has been well worth it.
Springtime in London. More to come. Unbelievable. I could just cry those tears of joy and let this be kind of a bit of an example that no matter what’s going on in your life, no matter what happens to you, the things that we go through, especially as trauma survivors, I mean, three years in the court system not to get justice. I’m not going to let that rob me of living my life. That’s a choice that I’ve made. And I’m no different than you.
We all can make different choices to improve our lives. Some are bigger than others, granted, and some responsibilities might hinder certain choices that we’re able to make. Been there, done that. Nevertheless, we can either hang on to the joyful moments and make them bigger, or we can hang on to the things that don’t serve us and work through the healing that we need to work through as things come up.
I’m still healing from the fact that I know I’m never gonna get justice. Okay, let me not say that I’m healing from the fact that I didn’t get justice, that I was revictimized by the justice system. And I’m not going to let that stop me finding joy and love.
And I refuse to give any of my abusers the opportunity. Let me not fall on my face. I do that a lot, the opportunity to take moments away from my life. You know, when people are abusive, like my mother, for example, kid just try to snap a pigeon, red flag.
When people like my mother try to destroy me and form a life for me, sending me out into the world at a disadvantage of the greatest disadvantage. And all the other predators that I was pre groomed for all of these things that happen to me if I continue to give energy to that in the respect of holding on to anger instead of facing the anger and processing it. And when I say holding on to anger, I mean pushing it down somewhere where it’s constantly got a hold of you, instead of facing the things that I’ve needed to face.
And look, Mother’s Day is coming up. That’s a wound. I’m gonna feel it. And then you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to go out and live my best life again because I’m not going to allow somebody else to control how I feel in this world. And especially since I know it would give particularly my mother great joy to know that I’m living in anger while she doesn’t give a toss about me or have any feelings whatsoever, right? So why would I give her another chunk of my life? I didn’t have a choice before she took them. I do have a choice now. So again, I’m no different than anybody else.
I hope that my words inspire you to work on your healing journey, to accept that we are always going to be healing and growing. And that doesn’t mean that we can’t also be loving and grabbing onto joy at the same time. Much love to you all. Thank you for being a part of this community. And I will check in later over some other fun sites.