Welcome to Short Term Memory Loss Theater. Tonight our actors will be performing a scene from Tom Lazar’s 1959 play, Howl of the Landlord, a gritty drama set in a working class apartment building in downtown Philadelphia. Our actors, the STML players, have all been diagnosed with acute short term memory loss. But through hard work and my revolutionary therapeutic technique, they have been able to overcome this hurdle, being able to memorize long passages. And these performers, even with their affliction, never forget a single word. That is a fact. I’ll be playing the part of Grandpa McKittrick, the family patriarch. Now please, enjoy. Hi. Um. Rocco, you’re home. Rocco, you’re home. No work yet. This city’s a damn brick wall. No work yet. This city’s a damn brick wall. Rocco, you’re home. No, no, no. You said that. You said that already. It’s his line. And what’s my line? Ain’t nobody gonna give a lug like me a job. Bertha, we gotta move. Ain’t nobody. I’m sorry, just one more time. Ain’t nobody gonna give a lug like me a job. Bertha. Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Bertha, we gotta move. Um. I don’t wanna move. And I say that? Yes. I don’t wanna move. Enter landlord. Enter landlord. Enter landlord. Take off the jacket. The jacket. Lose the jacket. I’m sorry. Lose the jacket. Lose the jacket off. I’m sorry. Put it anywhere. Put it in. Just drop it. Just drop it. Just give it to me. Give me the jacket. Give me the jacket. Sorry. My keys are in there. No, Jana has everyone’s keys. Now, go. Something. Oh yeah, yeah. Something smells good. Great. Teddy, walk to Ronald. Okay. I’m here. Now, now, now, now what do I do? Look at him angrily and say. What are you? What, you’re just gonna walk in here? What, you’re just gonna walk in here? It’s supposed to be just Teddy. Right, right, sorry. He messed up. You all messed up. Is it play over? Are we done? Is it play over? No. No. You’re lying. Where’s my rent? Where’s my rent? You’re not my landlord. No, no, no, no. That’s your line. Oh, yeah, yeah. Hey, where’s my rent? Now, you fight. Teddy and Ronald, you fight. No, no, no. Don’t look at me. Look at each other. Come on. You want to kill each other. Vernon, come on. Get off the stage. You don’t come on until the third act. Listen, okay, I know. I know, but listen, okay? I think I have my speech memorized, all right? You know, I just ran it now. Okay, I got to do it before it leaves my head. Please, please. Just please. I worked so hard. Please let me do it. Just please. I’m fine with it. I said give me a chance. And I don’t want any help, okay? No help. Fine. But quickly, please. I was born in Kentucky. Damn, what is it? I was born in Kentucky. No, no, that’s not it. That’s not it. That’s not it. Yes, it is. Why can’t I think of the first word? I mean, man, it’s like 20 words, and I just can’t think of one. I was born… Oh, got it, got it, got it, got it. I was born in… Damn it. Where was I born in again? The play’s over. The play’s over. Bow. Bow. Bow. Bow to me? Yes, yes. Bow to me. Bow to me. Bow to me.