Five Pet Peeves of Married Life: An Intimate Look at What Drives Us Crazy

Right, so me and wifey decided to do this thing of five pet peeves that we thought, how would you say it? Get annoyed with each other. What’s your first one darling? My first one is that you constantly tap your feet and you sleep like you’re running. Cause that’s just me, I’ve always been like that, just like little toe taps. It’s not little toe taps, he’s actually like, and it drives me insane. But he has to do it to the bottom of your feet. And it drives me insane. Okay, alright. So my one is touching my things and not putting them back how they are. Like it really just gets under my skin. Like when I’m in the car, like for example the phone holder, she’s always gotta just do it on purpose and oh nah it’s like this. Or she’ll go and touch something in the room that’s mine and I’m like where is it? And she’s like I don’t know where it is Wilson. Yeah but in my defence I’m only 5 foot 3 and your phone holder when it’s like this, I need it face down a bit so it’s like that to me. Well it’s just simple, you just don’t touch a man’s things. What’s your next song? He’s always gotta watch himself on repeat continuously while he reads comments. And it’s the same video playing over and over and over and I can’t stand hearing his voice on repeat. It’s because, wait, wait, it’s because I have to re-watch myself. It’s because people are commenting and I’ve gotta go back through the comments to answer to those people. Pause the video. You can’t. You can. Alright then, my next song is, oh you know what I’m really thinking now, I’ll be relaxing watching TV or something. And then I can feel my back or my t-shirt lift up and I can just feel these little pics, pics. And she’s picking away at my pimples and my blackheads and my back. And honestly I’m like, oh what are you doing? She’s like, just wait I can see good. And now that she’s got my son to it he’s like, dad I see pimple. Hey mumma I can see pimple. So they’re both picking at my back. Honestly that irritates me so much. It’s only time we have family time these days. Yeah nah, nah, nah, nah, cut it, cut it. Don’t tell so all of those. Alright my next one is. What is your next one? You can’t go for a shit without shitting all over the bowl and you leave it. No, no, no, no, that’s private. No, no. You constantly shit all over the toilet and you leave it. But if he’s at his mum’s house or my mum’s house he cleans it. And you know the worst bit, he hates toilet brushes. So he won’t use them because he thinks they’re the most disgusting things out there. No, no, no, no. He uses a dirty toilet paper. Oh, nah, nah, nah, nah. The next thing I hate. Oh here he goes. Honestly like just say we’re going to bed and you know we’re like oh yeah. And she’s like oh yeah cuddle me and oh this is on, we’re on tonight. Dubby you’re in, you’re in Dubby. Next minute we’re all touchy feely. Next minute I hear this. And I’m like what the fuck. And I’m like bam she’s like don’t touch me, don’t touch me. But she’s got me all worked up and all like doogs up ready to go. It’s not a lie. It’s not douche, it’s douche. But you know what I’m saying like bro you don’t get a man getting all like real hyped up and then his adrenaline’s pumped. You know he’s ready to go and then bam, banged. That honestly fucks me. I’m just sitting there like frustrated. I’m like it’s like ah. Yeah but I snore and get tired because I’m growing a human inside me. That was the day before the baby. Fuck. I’m exhausted. Next. One of my biggest pet peeves is who the hell can wake up and be happy as soon as they open their eyes. It drives me insane. Like it drives me nuts. You can’t wake up and be positive like that. You just can’t. And it makes me hate him sometimes because I’m just like oh. He’s trying to sleep here and he’s all like babe it’s such a good dog. Don’t let my dog. Wakey wakey. Open your eyeballs. Right we’re getting into it now babe. We’re getting into it now. My darling’s snoring. Fuck. Honestly. Oh my god. So lately since she’s been pregnant it has been doing me crazy. Doing my head in and I cannot do it sometimes. I’m just lying there trying to watch a movie or something and then this comes on. I’m like fuck who the fuck does that. And then sometimes now she goes. You’re suffocating me. Like cause it gets to a point where it’s so bad. Where I just grab her nostrils and I just hold it there until she’s like. But not even long after that she’s back into it again and it’s just. There was one night I had to actually wear my ear pods to bed. With my music. Then my missus woke up in the morning thinking I’m nuts. Like why the eff have I got music going on my ears. I try to tell her she says I’m a liar. Right. Now you’re talking about being loud. He constantly yells at the top of his lungs like he’s on the hill at work. Head on tails like on me. In his sleep. And even though it’s like. Real loud like he yells the house down. You wake up and you almost have a heart attack cause you think something’s going on. Right here’s my last. Last and final one. My darling I love you so much. But. You seriously need to do something about that ass. I don’t know how this. And you always forever blame it on the baby. In the middle of the night. Like she doesn’t even know she’s doing it. And I’ll just sit there. But you know cause you know when you’re in a spooning position. Her ass is up against you. And it’s just like. All along your back you know. I’m like woah. Woah what the fuck was that. But the best thing about her fart. They have no smell. Like I don’t know about yous but. My wife farts. They do not smell. Trust me I know I’ve been there. My last one. He smells everything. I mean everything. Undies. Bras. Pants. Clothes. Food. People’s cups. Toothbrushes. You name it. He smells it. No. No. He sniffs everything. He’s a sniffer from now. See he just sniffed me. So I hope yous all enjoyed that. That is our five what do you call it babe. Pet peeves we hate about each other. Pet peeves we hate about each other. Anyway cheers my fams. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.