I actually feel like I’ve been losing my noggin for the past couple weeks. I can’t even put my finger on it, but it’s like every single day I wake up and this is the first thought I have. And every single time I go to sleep, this is the first thought I have before I go to sleep. I just want to experience that like butterfly eye contact game where you see someone across the way that you think is just like and then you’re just. I want to experience that so fucking bad. I don’t remember the last time I, I don’t remember the last time I had a moment like that. And especially for some reason as of lately, I just like don’t find anybody attractive at all. And I don’t know why. As a lover girl, I don’t understand. I just, I so badly, so deeply crave this shit. Like I want to have that butterfly like tingling feeling in my gut and just melt over somebody. And I want to have that flirtatious and that quick, cute little banter. And oh my fucking God. Oh my God. I don’t get out enough. I know that that’s part of the reason why I don’t experience it. But even when it’s like when I am out, like I said, people just don’t reach the requirements of for whatever reason. I just don’t find them attractive. Who’s my fucking mind over? I just want to have, I just want to have a moment. I want to have a moment. Why are my lips blue? See this is, this shit is making me sick. You see that? I look sick. Oh my God.