Embracing Vulnerability: The Importance of Expressing Your True Feelings

I knew this was going to happen and it’s going to continue to happen because my gender disappointment video is getting traction, which I wasn’t expecting it to get traction, but I knew if it did this would happen. You are allowed to feel exactly how you feel, regardless of other people’s circumstances, regardless of what’s the right thing to feel, and you’re allowed to say it out loud. Feelings change, and they should change, but in order for them to change, sometimes you need to express them. And it’s very important that we express our feelings. Sorry, hold. Sorry, I had to park because I’m going to explode if I don’t talk about this. If we don’t express our feelings, whether they’re hard or embarrassing or whatever, people will not know that the things they feel inside are normal and okay and can be changed. Just because you’re sharing an experience doesn’t set that in stone. There are generations that believe once you say something, you have to live and die on that hill until the day that you die, and that’s not how the human condition works. We are designed to feel things and process them and share with others and learn from each other’s experiences, and that’s what this channel is about. If you saw my gender disappointment video and think I’m a terrible mother because I put that out there, you are exactly who I am scared of raising my son around. I grew up with a husband who was told this whole life that he wasn’t allowed to feel the way he felt, and I’m not doing that to my children, and I pray that you don’t do that to your children. I’m going to start crying. The amount of people that walk around with hard, scary things stuck inside of them because their parents told them that they should feel a certain way is scary, and I’m a firm believer it’s part of the reason the world is the way it is today. So the more we can open up with each other and be vulnerable and share the things that are really hard, the more people can see that those emotions change and they’re not permanent, and the really hard, embarrassing stuff doesn’t stick around forever, especially when you have a community you can rely on. And I’m done not defending myself. I spend so much time on this app wanting everyone to like me, and I can’t because expressing how I feel about things is so important to me because I want to lead by example for my children, so if you think me posting these things is embarrassing to my children, I’m going to have conversations with them about these things. My son is going to know that I had a really hard time when I found out he was a boy and when he came I was overjoyed with exactly who he was because I was scared about getting to know him, not about his gender. And I’m not going to just let people tell me that I should be happy just because I’m having a baby. I can be sad for you and happy that I’m having a baby and disappointed in the way that my expectations weren’t met. All of those things can be the same. I’ve also lost a baby and I still have the ability to be happy for those around me and understand their feelings and realize that the way others feel doesn’t dictate how I feel and shouldn’t affect how I feel. So there’s that. I am sick of the internet living in a world of black and white and you’re allowed to change your mind, you’re allowed to process your feelings, and you’re allowed to feel scary things. It’s about what you do with those emotions that really makes a lasting impact. And for me, sharing them with a community that’s mostly supportive helps. And I know that I’m helping other people and that’s important to me. So there’s that. I’m not going to tag anyone because I don’t think anyone who leaves those comments genuinely thinks they’re doing anything wrong, but that’s part of the problem.