Navigating Manipulation: My Escape from a Narcissistic Abuser

Escaping my Narcissistic Abuser part 2. So that happened in October 2022 that we decided I was gonna move to Denver, Colorado. And then on my birthday, November 9th, I was gonna fly back. We were gonna spend my birthday together, find the apartment. I’ll never forget being in an Uber on the way to the airport on my birthday and him calling me as normal and talking to me for like 20 minutes and finally me being like, is there anything you wanna say to me? He’s like, what do you mean? And I was like, it’s my birthday. He was like, oh, oh, I’m sorry. I just been, you know, I’ve, he didn’t say I’m sorry. He’s like, oh, I’ve been running around. I’ve been so busy.

Happy birthday. Later I would learn that anytime that there was a day or something that was supposed to be special or about me, he would intentionally try to sabotage it. He could not physically handle attention being on me. He not only couldn’t could handle the attention being on me, he wanted me to feel bad on those days. He wanted to do something horrible to me, but we’ll get to that later. So I come to Denver and, you know, I’m settling into his place and then he finally says, you know, I think you actually might need to get a car rental while you’re here. And I’m like, what? He’s like, I just really have to focus on my job this weekend. He was trying to be a real estate agent, which will get to that later, too. I just really need to focus on my work this weekend. And I was like, okay, well, I can just get an Uber to a specific part of town and walk around and look at apartments. And it really bothered him for some reason that I wouldn’t get a car rental. He just wanted to have like a level of control over whatever it was that I was doing eventually because he never actually wanted to work hard. He was one of those people who just wanted to be like given rewards without actually putting in the work. He winds up deciding not to work that weekend after talking his mom and his mom is like, he’s there and you’re like, not gonna go look at apartments with him. So we find my apartment and then also that weekend, my best friend and her husband, we’re gonna find Denver because they also were gonna leave LA after being there for many years. And that gave me a little bit of solace knowing, okay, listen, I’m moving here. There’s the sky. I’m getting a fresh start. But if things go south, at least they’ll be there months after I get there, right? We go to dinner for my birthday and I’ll never forget.

My friends said the same thing. He was treating me like basically like I was in boyf. His boyfriend, like insisting on paying for the whole dinner and the rest of the weekend just went really good. Aside from those things that I mentioned. And the next time that I was to see him was three weeks later, when I would be moving to Denver. He was flying to Los Angeles to drive my car with me from there. He flew in on Thanksgiving and we went to my best friends, another one of my best friends home who was a very wealthy family in Beverly Hills. And he was just acting weird, like my friend’s partner at the time was being sober because they had an issue that happened sh between him and her. And I’ll never forget him like walking in there and like trying to give this guy edibles. I’ll never forget, like her dad. It was a Thanksgiving dinner. My friend’s dad said something like, oh, it takes about 18 hours to drive to Denver from here. He’s like, and George, my person was like, yeah, maybe if you’re driving 50 miles per hour. I’m like, why are you talking to the close people in my life like this when you’re in their house? It was just, it was so weird. Anyway, we wake up early the next morning, we go to the beach and we start our drive to Denver. We talked the whole way to Denver. I mean, we only stopped for a few hours in Salt Lake to spend the night. But I mean, we were non stop talking. I think I didn’t, I think honestly looking back that this person has, I know we shouldn’t diagnose people, but I believe he has bipolar disorder paired with his narcissism because he would have these periods of what appear to be mania. Would he be where he would be like, you don’t think I’m talking too much? Like some people tell me that I’m talking too much. So we get to Denver. I get to my apartment. Oh no, I’m supposed to stay with him for a week because my apartment was not gonna be ready yet and my stuff was coming from LA delayed. So I stay with him for probably four or five days and I’m like, everything is good, right? Like I don’t wanna be in your space is like, no, you’re only gonna be here for one week. It’s totally fine. And the day after we had that conversation, I get back and also keep in mind, I was staying out of his way during the day because I wanted him to be able to focus on work. I come home one day and to his place and he says to me, you know, I just decided like I need my space actually. So like your apartment is there, your stuff is in here, but like you should just go get an error mattress and you can just sleep in your place. And I’m like, you’ve gotta be kidding me.