It’s the end of the first week back from Christmas break,
and y’all, these kids had lots to say.
So this is the top three things my kids said to me
in the first week back. Coming in at number three, said,
during kindergarten theater class,
I’m asking the kids how their breaks were and what they did,
when a little nugget raises her hand and asks, Mr. Greg,
what did you do? I said, oh,
not much. Just.
And I stayed home and relaxed.
She follows up with, why didn’t you go to your beach house?
Ugh, the innocence of youth.
I wanted to reply with, girl,
you think I can afford a beach house
with what they pay me to teach your ass?
But instead I said, well,
I don’t have a beach house.
She looks at me all confused,
like I just told her I don’t have a belly button,
and then simply says, well,
you should get one. They’re fun.
Right on that rose coming in at No.. 2, said,
during first grade snack recess,
the kiddos are all eating their snacks,
and I noticed a young boy sitting alone,
not eating his. So I go up to him and say,
hey, bud,
everything okay? He mumbles back,
I don’t like my snack.
I noticed the bag of celery sticks and carrots sitting next to him.
I say, you don’t like celery and carrots?
He goes, no,
my mom’s making me eat them.
She said she Wants to eat healthy this year.
To which I say, well,
isn’t that a good thing?
To which he replies in the most dramatic tone possible,
but that’s her idea. Why do I have to suffer?
I got nothing, kid.
And coming in at No.. 1,
said, during third grade theater,
we’re starting our Shakespeare unit,
and I’m telling the kiddos
how Shakespeare invented over 2,000 words and phrases
that we still use today.
One of the examples I gave was the phrase good riddance.
So then I asked everyone if they knew what that meant.
Cindy raises her hand and says, yeah,
it’s like when you tell someone you hate to, like,
get out of your house or like,
Bye, Felicia.
I gotta give it to her,
bye Felicia is a perfect modern example of the phrase good riddance.
But then curious Carlos raises his hand and says, Mr.
Greg, why is it always Felicia that does the buying?
Cindy doesn’t miss a beat, though,
and chimes in with,
because bye Jessica just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
Carlos welcome back. Find your joy.