My girlfriend has rejected multiple job offers
after grilling companies during interviews.
We argued when I told her she’s hurting her chances,
but she insists it’s just part of her professional process.
My girlfriend works a job that she can’t do remotely,
and since we’re planning to move to another state together,
she’s currently job hunting.
Her first interview was with a top company
whose recruiter had messaged her on LinkedIn.
I expected her to approach it like any other interview,
but instead
she spent an hour grilling the company on its engineering practices
before withdrawing her application.
In her next few interviews,
she did the same thing, grilled the companies,
and decided not to move forward with four out of the six.
I told her that I felt she was making a mistake by being so picky,
and that she might ruin her reputation in the industry
by constantly cutting the process off early.
She disagreed and said she wasn’t making enemies.
In fact,
the companies she turned down were still emailing and calling her,
asking her to reconsider. She said it made her a hotter commodity,
not the other way around.
I still felt like she might be hurting her reputation long term,
even if this strategy seemed to be working for now.
She insisted that it wasn’t a power play,
but rather a professional approach.
She didn’t want to waste anyone’s time.
But things came to a head during one of her final interviews.
I overheard her Zoom call with one of her top two companies
where she was chatting with the interviewer
told a story about how he and his co workers fell off a barge
into the river while working on a project.
She laughed, but then said, wait,
they had y’all doing that without being tied off to anything?
As funny as that is, that’s honestly messed up.
They put y’all in danger like that.
I’m going to have to withdraw my application.
After the call, she said, damn,
people really tell on themselves if you just listen and smile.
Did you hear that? I told her that I thought she ended it too quickly.
She didn’t even ask if they had changed their safety protocols.
It seemed like she was delaying getting a new job,
and I asked if she was getting cold feet.
She told me no, that this is how people at her level interview.
She wasn’t interested in walking into a mess
and took the process seriously.
I said that was BS
and accused her of sabotaging herself by grilling the companies
on the phone. She fired back asking,
why do they keep coming back for more then?
I’m critical, but I’m not wrong and they know it.
We had a big argument where she insisted that at her career level,
the interview process is a two way street.
She interviews the companies as much as they interview her
to see if they’re worth her time.
I told her that Was nonsense.
She got mad,
saying I had no right to tell her how to handle her own career
and that she knows better.
Am I the asshole for arguing with my girlfriend about her interviews?
I feel like she’s dragging her feet,
but she insists this is normal for her field.