The girl I’m dating is so smart. Really?
Oh, yeah.
Like, she makes so much money in the stock market
without even needing to research any of the companies.
And she can predict the exact score of every big sports game.
Damn, dude,
is she, like,
a time traveler?
She’s so smart that she gets frustrated with modern technology.
Like, she calls Tesla’s antiques,
and she refers to the latest edition iPhone
as a relic of the distant past.
Okay, she might actually be a time traveler.
No way. Believe me,
time is not her strong suit.
She is constantly getting confused.
Is it needing me to remind her what year it is
or which president we’re on?
Dude, she’s clearly a time traveler from the future.
No, she’s just really smart.
And thank god,
because her intelligence has saved us from a lot of trouble.
Like, I asked her if she wanted to go to the zoo,
and she said any day but August 13th.
Sure enough, on August 13th,
there was a gas leak explosion at the zoo
that injured a bunch of visitors.
I mean, talk about foresight.
That’s not foresight. That’s hindsight.
What do you mean?
I mean that if your girlfriend knows the exact date of upcoming
unpredictable catastrophes,
that’s not her predicting the future.
That’s her being from the future and knowing the past.
She’s not from the future, man.
In fact, she told me where she is from. Where?
She told me that she’s from A post apocalyptic wasteland
where all traces of humanity are gone.
That she hopes I never live to experience.
And you didn’t think she was describing the future?
Honestly, I thought she was talking about New Mexico.