A Comedic Encounter: The Tale of Patrice the Pheasant

Ah, no,
I can’t say that, can I?
Can I say that? I’ll edit the story slightly.
Um, I went to the bathroom,
um, called my friend and said,
you had to ring,
say something’s wrong. And my friend rung me and just went,
this is your phone call? Like,
had no idea what’s going on.
I was like, I have to go.
I’m so sorry. And he was like, why?
What’s wrong? And I was like, my.
My pets died.
And he was, I’m so sorry.
What pet have you got? And I haven’t got a pet.
I’ve just got a pheasant that lives in my garden.
I was. And I said,
my pet pheasant, Patrice.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, I didn’t have to pretend to be sad.
That’s why I’ve not been putting Patrice up on Instagram lately.
Oh, no. How are you alive