Folks, there is so much excitement happening at the D N C.
Here in Chicago, and I.
I was hoping to head over there and see it myself,
but the buzz kills at the network insist I stay here and do my job.
Thankfully, I have an old friend named Donny Franks.
He lives in Chicago,
and he works as a vendor at all the area sports arenas.
Years ago,
Donny gave us a glimpse of what it’s like to work at Wrigley Field.
And tonight, Donny brings his talents to the United Center. Jim!
Hey, everybody,
it’s your old friend Donny Franks.
I’m here in the United Center,
the house that Mike built
for what I assume would be a rare August Bulls game.
Turns out it’s some political deal,
but figure as long as I’m here,
I should move some merch and sling some dogs.
Go bulls!
First things first,
I had to figure out what all this convention business was about.
What’s your name? Alex. Alexandria.
Nice to meet you, Alexandria.
Oh, you’re that. The.
That three name guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How do you win. How do you win a convention?
We win a convention by first having a bunch of primaries.
And who won that? And Joe Biden won that.
Won that. Okay,
so Joe Biden’s the nominee.
And Kamala Harris won that, too.
She also won that, too.
Two people won two people.
Can’t gotta have a winner as president and vice president.
You Run as a ticket.
Oh, so it’s like Michael and Scotty.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. There you go.
What happened to Joe? Where’s Joe?
Was there an injury or something like that?
Or a groin tear? I think anything Joe said,
I did. First,
second quarter. She’s gonna take it home on second half.
What are the odds that, uh,
Kamala Harris stays in on me?
It’s 100%. She’s our.
It’s 100%. There was gonna be Joe a month ago. Jamie. It’s
100%. It’s certified.
We have. I’ve signed all the documents.
I, uh.
I know a lot of. A lot of money.
So. Some bad hombres.
Cause I put everything on Biden to win.
Okay, so what are the odds that Biden gets back in?
It’s never zero, James.
That’s the same odds that I’m 35 tomorrow.
If you’re 35 tomorrow, you need to moisturize,
my friend.
Take. Take one last trip to the dehydrator.
There you go. You know what I mean.
Is there any truth to the fact that you’re part gator?
You’re more jerky than man at this point. I like that.
How do you take your Chicago dog?
Well, with,
of course, mustard and everything else.
But we. No ketchup.
Terrorist is gonna blow up the bean
unless you have ketchup on a hot dog.
Do you eat the ketchup on the hot dog?
Mustard only. That’s the right answer.
No compromise. You guys.
I hear a lot. I hear a lot of talk about swing Voters?
Yeah. Donna and I,
we’re in the lifestyle
and we like. What?
What lifestyle? We’re swing voters.
We go about once a month, we go up to the syberus.
You know, let’s explore the options.
And all I’m saying is, I know you’re looking for swing voters.
Don and I’ve talked about it,
and we like your vibe. I’m not into that lifestyle.
Okay. Alright.
Time to make some cash
selling some of my 100% officially unlicensed merch.
About all these Biden t shirts.
Before you guys made the switch
A rule on me, so I.
I repurposed it. This one now says,
even though Joe was superb,
I’d enjoy supporting Kamala Harris in 2024.
This is from the 1968 convention.
Oh wow. This is a Hubert Humphrey.
This is get humped. Yeah, yeah.
I don’t know about the vibes on that one.
No, but we’ll work it.
We’ll work with it. Balls to the walls.
Balls to the walls. I love that.
How much is this?
Balls to the walls. This is fire.
Alright, balls to the walls, everybody.
I could also set you up with an official Chicago mustache.
Okay. Can I test it out?
Be Dicka for the day. Try this on. Matt. Matt.
Yeah, go ahead.
There you go.
There. Oh yeah.
There you go. Oh yeah,
it’s a. Oh, yeah.
Now say this. This say, uh.
Over by there. Over by there.
Do they make a nice sandwich?
Do they make a nice sandwich?
Name my sandwich. Sandwich. The.
The Bears.
Haha.
Well, Alex,
we’ve been talking about what’s gonna be an emotional night here
tomorrow night, Monday,
when President Biden delivers his address to the convention here.
Part of a day of tributes to the outgoing president.
But we’re also now learning about the next phase of those tributes.
Luckily, Illinois is one of the few states we are allowed to open carry
a hot dog cannon. Who wants a hot dog? Here we go!
You want a hot dog? Look alive!
Yeah!
Jamie, would you like a hot dog?
Sure. Go along. Find the hole.
Wow,
that’s 20 bucks.
I’ll tell you, I Learned a lot today.
The way I understand this is
Biden was on a winning ticket three different times.
That’s what we call a threepeat. Boom!
But now he’s passing the ball to his first round draft pick
from Howard University, standing 5 foot 4.
It’s Kamala. I don’t know her middle name.
Harris
Insomniac. If you can take just one thing away from the DNC,
let it be this me, Donny Franks.
Cause I do need a ride home. Go Bulls!
We’ll be right back.