I wanna ask you to just start implementing this one thing. And that is simply just paying rather than needing, rather than chasing, rather than focusing, but just start being as someone who was so into manifestation, I was constantly manifesting certain things and focusing on the outcomes of those things and relying on those outcomes of those manifestations to make me feel validated, to make me feel worthy, to make me feel enough, to make me feel safe.
And it got to a point three years down the track where I was sick and tired of it because I would manifest things, but I would never feel enough. Like I would always be going on to the next thing and I would be someone who would accomplish things pretty quickly, clean. I did this for a number of reasons, but the biggest reason was because I thought I needed to, because when I did, I would feel good enough, I would feel worthy. And then that feeling would very quickly disappear and I would need to chase the next thing.
This happened a lot in my work environment. I would climb up the corporate ladder. I wanted to do that, and I did that pretty quickly. I achieve things very quickly. And yet it wasn’t enough. I didn’t even think it was good enough.
I was constantly looking outside of me, chasing same thing with manifestations. I was constantly trying to manifest the next thing more, money, relationship, career, certain things, because I thought, well, when I get this, then I would feel enough. I would feel good enough. I’d feel validated. I’d feel like, finally I’d feel love. I’d feel enough. I’d feel whole, incomplete. And it was never the case because I would just chase after the next thing.
So if this is you and you can resonate with this, then practice just being simply just B. And this is hard to do, especially if you’re someone who is a higher overachiever. He was che chasing the next best thing. This is a lack of self worth. This is constantly seeking validation outside of you. When you be, when you practice being and you practice grounding yourself into the now present moment and relying, realizing that one, you were enough as you are. And how Frank is that?
You can relax knowing I’m in office. I am. I don’t need to do anything. And 2, have immense gratitude for being here or for having the things that you want when you’re appreciative of what you have now, you realize that the next best thing that you’re after is nothing better, nothing flash. I was heavily wounded, heavily insecure, constantly chasing that dopamine hit. And I got to a point, especially with manifestation, thinking that was the solution, realizing 30 years later that I was still not where I wanted to be. And it wasn’t the fact that I wasn’t doing enough. It was the fact that I wasn’t being, I wasn’t seeing my worth as I am. So I had to detach myself from these expectations and these outcomes, especially within my business and not seeing that whatever result I get from that, my success is, then I feel worthy.
Same with relationships. I had to stop seeking I freaking relationship to know that I am worthy and complete and within. I was so scared of being lonely because if I was lonely or alone, then no one, that meant no one wanted me. And this was a lie. All of what we’re taught is a lie.
And at the end of the day, I see everyone around me, everyone on social, everyone is seeking validation. We live in a society where we, our success is deemed on what we achieve. Our value is based outside of ourselves.
The No. 1 thing people ask me is, why aren’t you in a relationship? You’re so pretty. Why are you single? As though it’s not a choice, baby. It is a choice. That is the difference. I can be happy and I choose to be by myself. Whether the people asking me, usually men, they don’t choose to be single. They want a relationship. I’m not defining my worth, my value, and feeling enough, or I should say like feeling fulfilled and complete based on my relationship status, obeying with someone. I don’t see that I choose to be where I’m at with my life because I’m no longer seeking external validation.
I’m no longer chasing the next best thing, getting that dopamine hits, finding, getting into meaningless relationships with people that don’t align with me just for the sake of not feeling lonely, which I don’t. And I’m 30 this year and I don’t have a house. I don’t have like a family and kids. Like society, things is normal, which is far from it. But I don’t see myself as fitting in and doing what I need to do because society says so. And I got to this realization by being, by getting out of that mentality of chasing, of wanting the next best thing, of seeking external validation and reverting to those hits that or I feel good enough.
Next thing or I feel good enough. No, by being, by realizing that I am worthy as I am. I’m worthy enough. I’m good enough as I am. I don’t need to do anything else. I don’t need to prove to myself or anyone that I’m enough as I am and I can allow myself to be.