Abandon yourself because you think if I abandon a part of me, they will love me. This cannot be further from the truth. My mentor told, taught me this very clearly. It is one of the hardest things that I head to face because when you’re a people, please up. And you have spent your whole life running away from who you really are. You look for relationships to cater for those unmet needs. Why do you chase someone? Why do you need them? Why do you become so co dependent? Why do you put their needs first? And most importantly, why do you self abandon? It’s hard built as well. And it definitely was hard for me. So ask yourself, when am I seeking from this relationship or this person that I’m missing within myself? Where is it that I am relying on this individual or on someone else to give me, to fill up that cup where I really start me to giving to myself.
You need to start loving yourself and that means doing the very thing that you have done, your doing the opposite of what you have done your whole life, which is to stop abandoning yourself.
Hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, stop abandoning self. This comes with the abandonment wound. When we have experienced abandonment, we abandon ourselves. We do ourselves what was done to us as a child. We have to stop abandoning ourselves to seek reward or to gain someone’s love or trust, validation, approval.
Because it but you in the ass in the long run every single time, every single person that comes to me have to some degree abandon themselves because they are scared of the No. 1 thing that we’re all afraid of, being abandoned or rejected. But the point is that when you stop self abandoning and you start looking at those parts of you that were rejected, neglected, ignored, not approved of, whatever, and you start giving yourself those things, you stop seeking up from someone else. Take that in. That is why I made Soft Master Academy.
To heal your abandonment wound, your trauma, bonding, your emotional dependency, your emotional pain body, which is your anxiety and your fear. Your nervous system being in fight, flight or freeze mode, in survival mode because you fear that the worst is gonna happen. And this is the patterns and the coping mechanisms that are played out in relationships, specifically the thing that you don’t understand and that I took me a long time because I was in denial is that you wanna ask yourself why are you wanting to manifest and a specific individual? Why? Trust me, I’ve been there, done that 20 million times. But I see he now doing the work that I’ve done and I was like, oh my god, I wanted them or I felt like I needed them because I was abandon him. I had abandoned myself for so long that I was seeking something that I thought that they could give me.
A big part of this is being so hypnotized, right? Being so in this fantasy land where we think that they’re everything. We think that they’re god and they’re just average individual. They are not anyone special. They are average person that you have idolize and fantasize in your mind. We look at someone who gives us a glimpse of attention or validation, and we want more of that. We cling on to it. And then we start fantasizing that this person is this, this, this, and this, that we completely so blindsided by the reality, which I wasn’t even aware of until I realized that I had put them on a pedestal and I had saw them as like a king. You know, I had saw them as someone who could give me something that I couldn’t get from anyone else, let alone myself. And that was the biggest no, no of them all. The law of Assumption, the law of attraction, manifestation says you can manifest anyone. I believe that you can manifest anyone. Doesn’t matter the circumstances. You can change someone’s behavior.
But my thing is why a lot of the times with doing it from our ego, a fear, our insecurities is why we were manifest. That’s what I did. I did this for years. I wanted to manifest someone because I needed them. I hate to admit it, but I really, really needed them. I really wanted them. Because I was like, they can give me this, this, this, and I didn’t care about hearing any of this stuff about doing healing or, you know, being by yourself for a while, whatever.
And that’s why now I’m like, take a month cuz I did it. I took a month with my SP where I just went no contact because I was in the same situation and I was like, I’m faced with this lesson that I need to learn. I either learn it now or go through it again and learn it later. So I took that opportunity where I Learned the lesson by giving myself this time, I didn’t dedicate a month at the time, but it just happened to have been a month where I was like, I’m going to look at all of my floors, my insecurities, like my patterns, my coping mechanisms. And it made so much sense. Like, holy Shaniqua, I was so insecure and I was projecting and needing this from him for security, for that sense of validation. And when I stopped needing him, because I was starting to give myself what I needed to and what I was relying on him to give me, then I stop needing him. And yeah, I was like, you know, I’m gonna manifest him back cuz I knew I could. I know I can, anyone can. And I did it.
And then now I’ve come to the realization of like, I don’t need him. I needed him because the biggest thing that I had, the issue that I had that we all have is that I wanted to feel wanted. And that was the biggest thing. I really wanted to feel wanted. I’d be, I’d experienced abandonment over and over again in my life. And so I just wanted to feel wanted. I wanted to feel loved. I wanted to feel important. I wanted the attention. And now that I had that time to reflect that no contact, where I started giving myself what I needed, I realized I didn’t need it from him or anyone.
Now my thing is it takes longer than a month, depending on, you know, your trauma and your upbringing and things like that. But it can take some time. And that’s why I allow yourself to just give yourself a month and don’t do it for him. Don’t do it for anyone. Do it for you because you are the center of the universe, not this person and what lies through the shadow and the pain and the patterns and the covid mechanisms and the trauma is you. He’s the lie is the love, is the validation and the need to be wanted is what you’re wanting. It’s all, it all lies within the shadowwork that you do. And that’s why I created Self Master Academy. It is for that.
Let me know how this lands. I know my videos are so long, but I just, I’m so passionate about this topic. Sorry, not sorry, but more information is better than not. So let me know.